Why You Gotta Be ANGRY ALL THE TIME?

This is an older song by Tim and Faith, but it wasn't until last night that I really paid attention to the lyrics. It gave me chills! It was amazing how much I related to it, or rather, how much it reminded me of my PARENTS. It's amazing how you don't really pay attention to a song (or a movie for that matter) and then years later you understand it, and sometimes you actually relate to it. Last night, I thought "why didn't I listen to this before?". O well. Anyway, here it goes. Enjoy!




Here we are
What is left of a husband and a wife
With four good kids who have a way
Of gettin on with their lives
And I'm not old
But I'm gettin a whole lot older every day
It's too late to keep from going crazy
I've got to get away

The reasons that I can't stay
Don't have a thing to do with being in love
And I understand that loving a man
Shouldn't have to be this rough
You ain't the only one who feels like
This world's left you far behind
I don't know why you gotta be angry all the time

Our boys are strong now
The spittin image of you when you were young
I hope someday
They can see past what you have become
And I remember every time
I said I'd never leave
But what I can't live with
Is memories of the way you used to be

Chorus

Twenty years
Have came and went since I walked out of your door
I never quite made it back
To the one I was before
God it hurts me to think of you
For the light in your eyes was gone
Sometimes I don't know why
This old world can't leave well enough alone

Chorus

I don't know why you gotta be angry all the time

DANCE in the RAIN

It's been a little over 5 years since my grandpa, Pops, went to be with Jesus. I miss him all the time and he is always in my heart and my thoughts. But last night, he came to see me in my dreams. It's been a while since his last visit, so this dream came as a shock to me.  I woke up this morning crying (since I cry about everything).

Pops passed away when I was 16. He was fairly young: had just turned 70.  The past 5 1/2 years have been some of the most challenging of all for me, and he hasn't been here to help me out.  It saddens me, but at the same time, when I have these kind of dreams (which happen too few and far between), I am reminded that he IS here, just in a different form.

Last night, I dreamt that my family was having a big get together at my house (for a change). Everyone was getting the food ready and talking and laughing. At one point, it fell very quiet.  Someone, not really sure who, said "I wish Pops were here with us right now", and of course everyone in unison said "Yea, me too". 

Nona, my grandma, went outside to get something in her car. It was raining pretty hard outside, so she took her umbrella.  She was gone for a good while, but when she came back inside, she was laughing.  I asked her, "Nona, what's so funny?" She looked up at me with a smile and said "Look outside, Lia." 

I looked and saw my silly Pops dancing outside with a big smile on his face, no umbrella, no rain jacket, no music.  He looked up and winked at me and motioned for me to come outside with him. So, I obeyed.  I left my umbrella inside. 

We danced in the rain together as he sang one of his favorite songs (I can't remember which one it was now), laughing and carryin on.  At the end of our dance, he gave me a hug, kissed my hand and simply smiled. And then I woke up, crying.  You see, it's dreams like this that make me miss him so much.  I realize now he was sending me a message. Maybe that he's enjoying seeing me happy these days (because I'm the happiest I've been in a while). Or, maybe he's agreeing with Nona's favorite quote "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

Though I am happy, I still have my confusing, trying times.  It's in those times I wish he was here the most, so he could crack a joke or two, or just give me one of his awesome hugs.  But now I know that he really is here, and he just wants me to dance. In the rain. With no umbrella =)