CLUMSY is as CLUMSY does!

I am an Aquarius:  I am lively, independent, orginal, smart, and carefree....but I am also chaotic and unpredictable, which some may say are negative traits.  Some people may find me "moody" and that can get pretty annoying--I understand that. On a first impression, I am charming.  People love me! But then when people get to know me, they learn I am stubborn.  Some learn to love that, while others break ties with me.  That's okay.  I am very sensitive, but at the same time, I can let things roll off my shoulder pretty easily.  I guess it just depends on the situation.  When I get angry, it's short lived.  I try not to hold grudges.  I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to trust, and once that trust is broken, it's HARD to get it back.  But above all of that, and the point of this blog, I am very....very....CLUMSY!

Having said that, I will note that I have NEVER broken a bone in my life.  KNOCK ON WOOD!  Honestly, I have no idea how or why....but I'd like to keep it that way.  I have gotten many cuts and bruises, but not one bone in my body has been broken.  I am constantly dropping things, tripping over my own foot, tripping UP the stairs, losing things--I swear, if my head wasn't connected to my own body, I would lose it!

I'm sure I had a lot of them, before this one, but the first bike wreck I can remember distinctly was when I had first gotten my training wheels off.  I'm guessing I was about 5. Our backyard had a slight incline that dad used for me to start on top and kinda "glide" my way to the bottom.  This was to teach me "balance". He would stay behind me and hold on, running alongside me.  Well, one day, I got brave.  I said "Daddy, don't hold onto me. I've got this!" So, he let me go.  I guess the steering lesson hadn't been taught yet, because I just kinda went off to the left...and I crashed right INTO a bush and UNDER our back porch.  Luckily I had a helmet on cause I hit my head pretty hard on the porch.  I don't remember what happened after that except that my mom told daddy OFF! I remember him coming back at her with something along the lines of "Would you be QUIET?! She's FINE!" haha....I don't remember crying that day....I think I was more shocked about my parents fighting...cause they didn't do it too much--well, in front of me anyway.  I got away with a couple scrapes, but nothing major.  Needless to say, my next bicycle lesson was on "steering". =)

I had a few bicycle wrecks of course, after I learned how to ride completely by myself.  But the weirdest, most bizarre, yet FUNNIEST one was when I was about 10 or 12.  My best friend, Julianna, and I were riding in her grandmother's neighborhood.  The neighborhood had a lot of hills and curves...and I was riding her aunt's old bicycle.  But, even those factors didn't have anything to do with the worst bicycle "wreck" ever.  We had stopped to rest for a minute....and I just kinda tipped over.  I wasn't even MOVING!  But the bike was heavy, and the pedal dug into my ankle DEEP! I was screaming at the sight of blood--and cause it hurt!--and she was crackin up!  When she finally realized that I was actually hurt, she sped off as fast as she could to get her grandmother.  I guess I got tired of waiting because I walked with my bike--actually LIMPED--back to the house. It took 4 bandaids to stop the bleeding! I still get teased to this day for that....

Now, not all my clumsiness has to do with bicycles.  When I was about 10 or 11, I was at Rosman's Champion Pool with my summer camp.  That pool was weird because in the shallow end, the side of the pool is "carpeted" and the deep end is just concrete. I was trying to get out of the pool on the side from the deep end and my friend Josie was helping me.  Well, she was grabbing my legs too hard I guess so I told her to let go.  Well, when she let go, I let go and when I let go, I lost my balance.  My chin hit the side of the concrete--HARD--and I got back into the pool.  It hurt, and I bit my tongue but I didn't think too much of it.  Until Josie told me I should probably go to the bathroom and check out my chin.  Well, I did. And I FLIPPED OUT!  I had a HUGE gash in my chin that was bleeding perfusely! I ran to my favorite counselor, Emily, and she basically rocked me to relax on the picnic table, while soothing my chin with a cold paper towel while they got in touch with my mother.  They scared me because they told me I may have to get stitches!  My mom about had a fit that they had told me that--she was a nurse and knew that the cut was deep, but not that deep.  I just needed a butterfly bandage and I would be good to go.  So, when she came to get me, we went to the drugstore and got one.  Needless to say, I didn't try to get out of the pool from the side in the deep end ANYMORE!

But, NOTHING can top the night I was trying to cheer my mother up with a toboggan and a pencil.  I was about 13 or 14. For some reason, she was pretty down in the dumps.  It was towards the end of my parent's marriage...and it was a sad time.  One night, she was lying on our living room couch facing the window.  Her favorite movie is "The Little Rascals", and one of the characters in that movie's name is "Uh Huh".  He wears a tobaggon all the time, and constantly has a pencil stuck up his nose.  So, I decided to immitate that.  I put a pencil (eraser side up) in my nose, got my Beauty and the Beast toboggan and crawled into the living room.  I said, "Mama, ask me a question that have to say "yes" to".  So, she asked me if I liked chicken tenders (or something) and I said "UH-HUH!" For some reason, that got her attention (gladly....hence the plan!) and she turned around and looked at me.  We both started cracking up! Well, I was sitting on my knees, and when I started laughing, I bent down....and the pencil was SHOVED up my nose.  I heard a crack, and pulled the pencil out.  When I sat back up, I put my hands over my face and blood began pouring out from between my fingers.  (Still cracking up, though).  My mom basically fell off the couch and grabbed me, laying me back (still, cracking up!) and through laughs, yelled at my dad to bring her a wet wash cloth QUICKLY! So, he came into the living room first to see what the heck was so funny, and to see why she needed a wet washcloth so badly.  When he saw the blood, he FREAKED!  He didn't understand why we were laughing....and he just looked at my mom like "Pam! Our baby girl is BLEEDING! And you're CRACKING UP!" haha He was MAD! So I assured him that I was fine, but I could really use that wet washcloth right about now.  I never saw him hurry so fast to that kitchen!  To this day, when I bring up that story, he leaves the room.  Geez dad, have a sense of humor!

I will say that my pain tolerance is pretty high.  Usually, when I get hurt, when I SHOULD be crying, I'm laughing.  Nomatter if I'm falling down the ramp at school, or busting my BUTT in the foyer at home during a snow storm because it's so slick, I usually always somehow find the humor in my pain.  I have run into screen doors, walls; you should see my legs.  You would think I've been abused all my life....and I have. By myself and foreign objects. 

Worst bruise ever?  This past January.  I was still living in Florida.  Florida gets PRETTY dang windy sometimes, especially in winter.  Well, I was in the drive-thru at McDonalds one morning and all I had on me was a $100 bill.  I gave it to the cashier and she DROPPED IT! It began flying away, and of course I'm freaking out because that's all the money I have! So, I jump out of my Ford Escape and start to go get the money, but I had forgotten to put the car in PARK....and there's a car in front of me! So, I try to stop the car with my own body weight by pushing the drivers seat as hard as I could...obviously a 130 lb me cannot stop a 5 ton mini SUV...so I basically dive into my floorboard, press the brake as hard as I can and put the car in park.  Probably not so good to immediately put the car in park so quickly, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  I got the money back, but not before I saw how hard the cashier and her little friend behind me in her car was laughing at me (yea, that pissed me off....one of the things I did not like about Orlando...the lack of friendliness...but that's another topic for another day).  I paid for my meal and left.  Of course I was shaking the rest of the drive to work, but I didn't think anything of it.  I had gotten a little scrape on my side from where I had dove into the car, which turned into a monstrous bruise the size of my fist. 

Luckily, I haven't had anymore huge injuries since that....and I have yet to break a bone...(again, KNOCK ON WOOD) But I am very clumsy.  But I have to say that I think those clumsy times in my life taught me a lot of lessons, as they do most children.  My hand-eye coordination back then and to this day is ZERO.  I tried playing softball in Middle School, as well as Church league Basketball.  Yea, neither one worked out too well.  But I like it that way.  It makes me different and it makes me who I am.  So what if I can't walk in a straight line or dribble a basketball properly, those are my quirks. I used to have a problem with it when I was younger, because I wasn't like the "cool" kids who played sports....but as I've gotten older, I have learned to embrace my imperfections with GRACE!  I have learned that being "perfect" is overrated and boring.  God made us all different for a reason, and it's up to us to accept our imperfections and be ourselves! Whether we're a little on the clumsy side, our teeth are a little crooked, or we feel like we're abnormally short or tall, those things make the world go round! So, HOORAY for the CLUMSY PEOPLE!