As I approach this adventure of becoming a new mommy, I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I am excited about the adventure in itself, but most of all I'm excited to be a MOMMY. To have this little life to teach things, love on, and be his/her number one fan.
But though I'm excited, I'm scared to death. For obvious reasons. Will I REALLY know what to do when they are sick? What if something happens? Am I going to be able to give my child the life he/she deserves? And the big question: What if I screw them up? What if my child becomes like every other child on this planet that have no respect for anyone or anything around them because of me?
You see, these days, kids are NOTHING like what they used to be. Respect for elders, much less respect for ANYONE has diminished. I swear, if I had spoke to my parents the way some of these kids today do (or even kids MY age do), I would have had my REAR END WORE OUT and grounded til the END of TIME. Even grown adults have zero respect for each other anymore. It's sad.
My main issue is what happened to all those rules everyone learned in Kindergarten? The most BASIC and IMPORTANT rules a person can learn? I think Robert Fulghum had most of it right in All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.
So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.
But I think he left out one thing: When someone is speaking, you don't. Raise your hand to be called on. I mean don't you think so? I'll tell you why I'm going on this rant. So many times people miscommunicate, are hurt, don't get their fair share of something because NOBODY LISTENS TO THEM. Everyone is so self absorbed these days with the mind set of "its my way or the highway". Almost like "I'm right, you're wrong and I know it and I don't want to stop and think for a second that it's the other way around." We are all stubborn and self-absorbed, rude human beings. I'm not saying I'm not guilty because I am. I've just come to realize it recently.
Having said that, and working in the Hotel business, let's add a side note here. Just because you do listen to someone, and hear their point of view doesn't mean they will be right. For instance, (and I'm just speaking in Hotel terms)
"I had a reservation to come to your hotel tomorrow and I need to cancel. My son is in the hospital and I know that I have booked with a 3rd party and my reservation is non-cancellable and I know your rule is that you need documentation that my son is in the hospital but I'm not able to provide that so can you please just make an exception?"
Well, of course the answer would be no. But before I jump the gun and interrupt him before he speaks, like most people would do, I listen first. I listen to his issue, and I sympathize with him, and NICELY give him the bad news. What is so hard about taking that extra step to listen? Because we are all selfish people. I mean it's natural, that's how we are built. But that's also why you have these rules that you learn WAY back in the early stages to TEACH you RIGHT FROM WRONG and how to deal with yourself.
How many times have you felt this way: "Yes, I know I'm wrong, but can you just listen to me and sympathize with me for 2 seconds before you shut me down completely?" I rest my case. The GOLDEN RULE is a good illustration for that...
What happened to COMPASSION? What happened to LOVE? What happened to RESPECT? What happened to COMMUNICATION? I am making it a point to bang it in my child's head to LISTEN to all people and THINK before you SPEAK. Not to make him/her a wimp by any means; of course I'm going to teach self-defense as well. But AFTER they LISTEN. I think if everyone could live by that rule too, just like it was back in Kindergarten, this world would be so much happier, and we may even come together a little bit more. Join me?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
All of those values you can teach your child. You can show them everything you know, and give them everything you have but you have to hope for the best. I've seen so many parents that give more than 100% in trying to get their kids to be the best they can be. My mom's best friend (who she was pregnant at the same time of me) is probably the most religious, amazing woman I know and she visits her son in jail every weekend and for the next 10 years. What did they do different? probably nothing, but it gets to a point that we all make our own choices.
ReplyDeleteDont stress out about it. You are going to be a GREAT mother. I've seen how you are with Brooke! and do your best to teach your child the same values you learn and the ones you hope they get.
let me share this with you also.
Your Children are not Your Children
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.