Before I start this, let me just warn my readers that I will get mean. I am simply speaking my mind...and its meant for plain entertainment. So enjoy! And Father God, please forgive me in advance.
I'm not sure what it is with me and rude, ignorant and slobby people, but I have zero tolerance for them. Now, having said that, some people classify me as a slob. I'm not a slob...I'm unorganized. What's my definition of a slob? 5 words: the people I live with. I won't mention what nationality they are, because I don't want to insult any of my readers by stereotyping, but it's been very hard to stay NON-prejudiced since living here. Just sayin.
Picture this if you will: the building Rick and I live in is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath townhome with an attached mother in law apartment. The woman who is on the lease is basically running this place like a flippin boarding house for the homeless. No joke. Rick and I have half of the mother in law apartment and one of the woman's bum, good for nothing 45 year old loser male friends has the other half. Now, the man is basically a man-whore: different girl every weekend. Until recently, the same girl seems to be over allll the time. Congrats, David, let's see if this ones a keeper! Plus, he has his 2 bratty lazy and inconsiderate kids here for the summer. Great. The woman has her 19 year old bum of a son living here: this kid is basically a waste. Seriously. High School drop out. Criminal. Has zero drive in life except to eat, smoke pot, drink, play his x-box all day and be the biggest slob on the planet. But we'll get to that in a second. There is the womans other friend...I guess her "lay of the week" as well...only thing bad I can say about him is he takes my parking spot all the time. And there is dear sweet Danny. He is the ONLY person in this crazy house I can stand. He is here to try and "shape up" the son. It's not workin very well though, and I believe the poor kid is about to give up. Let me throw in here now that Rick and I are the ONLY ones paying rent. Yup. The woman who is running this household inherited her mothers car and doesn't have the money to get a parking permit for it, but parties every night and blows her money on pot an booze. Here's an idea: WHY DON'T YOU EITHER STOP PARTYING OR START CHARGING EVERY OTHER FLIPPIN PERSON IN THIS HOUSE SOME RENT SO YOU CAN PAY THE 50 DOLLARS FOR THE PARKING PERMIT AND STOP GETTING YOUR JUNKY A** CAR TOWED ALL THE TIME....IDIOT!!!!! People in this house have NO common sense whatsoever. And they get mad at us when we complain about them slamming doors and furniture and jumping up and down upstairs at 3 am when we, the only 2 working people in this joint have to work the next morning. But if I'm not mistaken, and I don't believe I am, I think since we are the only 2 ppl paying any kind of rent in this place, we have every right to complain. Don't you. Oh and another thing: this place was SO nice when Rick first moved in, minus the ugly teal colored carpet. Now, its a flippin junk house. Doors falling off the hinges (from people not knowing how to gently SHUT them...), oven broken, washer and dryer broken....etc etc...
Okay...so let's get into about why "the son", Michael, is such a slob. And its not just him...its his 40 yr old mother too. Picture this: everyday I come in, the house smells like cig smoke, rotten food and pot...so I have to hold my breath to unlock our door to our apt or else, since my gag reflex is so sensitive, I barf. Yea, not pretty. I DO NOT go into the kitchen unless I absolutely HAVE to use the microwave (since the man whore has the kitchen part of our suite...leaving us with a mini fridge only...) but when I do go into the kitchen, I find eaten strawberries lying on the counter, with only the leaves left...an overflowing trash can..(which pisses me off first of all cause its so overflowing there are flies and cockroaches everywhere). NASTY floor, looks like it hasnt been mopped or sweeped in years....ummm....yesterday for instance, I found an empty can of Chef Boy Ardee with the sauce all over it, right next to the bowl they poured the contents into, and ate non of it then left the whole bowl there for 2 days. I'll stop there just for the sake of NOT grossing you out further. But the point is, the kitchen is nasty. They only clean when the landlord comes or her mom visits. and I dont think anyone in this household except myself, Danny and Rick know how to wash a dish.
So you can imagine why I want to get the HELL out of here, especially since we have a baby on the way. Luckily we have found a house FAR away from here all to ourselves that we are very excited to move into the first week of August. So not too much longer here.
Then there is the rudeness of the household. Remember the manwhore who has his kids staying over for the summer? Well since Rick and I don't have a fridge to keep a lot of stuff in, sometimes we have to use the main fridge in the disgusting kitchen. The other day, we put half a half gallon of milk in there but not before OBSESSIVELY writing our names all over it. Usually, it would have been fine. But ever since David's despicable children have moved in, the things we put there somehow seem to disappear: the milk, the ice cream sandwiches, the pizza, etc. Yea, and David laughs about it when we say something. Plus, when we try to do laundry: good luck getting it all done at once. There is a good chance SOMEONE will come by and decide their laundry is more important, take your either CLEAN or SOAPY clothes and yes...THROW them on the nasty cockroach infested kitchen floor. So that when you come back, you have no choice but to do it again, and PRAY the next person doesn't do the same thing.
Oh, and let me also throw in here that Mr. Michael the slob is now set for life. He has no reason to find a job at all. The grandmother has agreed to give him a car and money whenever he asks and whenever he needs. Oh and she is buying him an apartment to. Yea. How MESSED UP is THAT? Like I said, he is a complete waste.
Let's touch on the zero tolerance for rudeness now. It happens to me everyday, if you wanna consider the IDIOTIC RUDE drivers here in Orlando. (Who gives foreigners cars and why are we letting them drive????) But that's not all. I'm talking about COMMANDING me to do things. For example, "give me this...give me that..." Oh, and the people at work who CONSTANTLY steal my things: phone chargers....food....etc...Where did your MANNERS go? I won't even begin to mention the rude guests I deal with. Although I will say this to all my readers: when you go on vacation, please please please try to keep in mind, and this is coming from a Front Desk Clerks POV, YOU are on VACATION. I am not. I am working. There is absolutely NO reason for you to complain about the VIEW of your room when you have a full week planned of theme parks all day every day. Right? Try and limit your complaints....seriously. And if you don't, then don't expect your trip to be any easier.
Last but not least, ignorance. Omg. I know people say there is no such thing as a dumb question. Well, I'm going to call BS on that one. Or maybe I should rephrase that: There IS a such thing as people not THINKING before they SPEAK. For future reference, do NOT ask a prego woman ridiculously stupid questions and if you do, be prepared to either get smacked, a smartass response, or made to feel like the biggest idiot in the world by the look she has on her face. Got it? =)
In conclusion I want to say one thing: I try to be as optimistic as possible. Being pregnant and having my hormones go in completely crazy directions has not helped that out at all....however I have managed to stay somewhat optimistic. I am not one to complain about much...although I did complain at a restaurant for the very first time on Fathers Day....that was fun. Point is, you'll have to excuse me and just take my ranting as pure entertainment, and just something to give you a laugh. I hope none of my readers think less of me, and if you do...well, then stop reading now! =)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
What Happened To The Rules We Learned In Kindergarten?
As I approach this adventure of becoming a new mommy, I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I am excited about the adventure in itself, but most of all I'm excited to be a MOMMY. To have this little life to teach things, love on, and be his/her number one fan.
But though I'm excited, I'm scared to death. For obvious reasons. Will I REALLY know what to do when they are sick? What if something happens? Am I going to be able to give my child the life he/she deserves? And the big question: What if I screw them up? What if my child becomes like every other child on this planet that have no respect for anyone or anything around them because of me?
You see, these days, kids are NOTHING like what they used to be. Respect for elders, much less respect for ANYONE has diminished. I swear, if I had spoke to my parents the way some of these kids today do (or even kids MY age do), I would have had my REAR END WORE OUT and grounded til the END of TIME. Even grown adults have zero respect for each other anymore. It's sad.
My main issue is what happened to all those rules everyone learned in Kindergarten? The most BASIC and IMPORTANT rules a person can learn? I think Robert Fulghum had most of it right in All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.
So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.
But I think he left out one thing: When someone is speaking, you don't. Raise your hand to be called on. I mean don't you think so? I'll tell you why I'm going on this rant. So many times people miscommunicate, are hurt, don't get their fair share of something because NOBODY LISTENS TO THEM. Everyone is so self absorbed these days with the mind set of "its my way or the highway". Almost like "I'm right, you're wrong and I know it and I don't want to stop and think for a second that it's the other way around." We are all stubborn and self-absorbed, rude human beings. I'm not saying I'm not guilty because I am. I've just come to realize it recently.
Having said that, and working in the Hotel business, let's add a side note here. Just because you do listen to someone, and hear their point of view doesn't mean they will be right. For instance, (and I'm just speaking in Hotel terms)
"I had a reservation to come to your hotel tomorrow and I need to cancel. My son is in the hospital and I know that I have booked with a 3rd party and my reservation is non-cancellable and I know your rule is that you need documentation that my son is in the hospital but I'm not able to provide that so can you please just make an exception?"
Well, of course the answer would be no. But before I jump the gun and interrupt him before he speaks, like most people would do, I listen first. I listen to his issue, and I sympathize with him, and NICELY give him the bad news. What is so hard about taking that extra step to listen? Because we are all selfish people. I mean it's natural, that's how we are built. But that's also why you have these rules that you learn WAY back in the early stages to TEACH you RIGHT FROM WRONG and how to deal with yourself.
How many times have you felt this way: "Yes, I know I'm wrong, but can you just listen to me and sympathize with me for 2 seconds before you shut me down completely?" I rest my case. The GOLDEN RULE is a good illustration for that...
What happened to COMPASSION? What happened to LOVE? What happened to RESPECT? What happened to COMMUNICATION? I am making it a point to bang it in my child's head to LISTEN to all people and THINK before you SPEAK. Not to make him/her a wimp by any means; of course I'm going to teach self-defense as well. But AFTER they LISTEN. I think if everyone could live by that rule too, just like it was back in Kindergarten, this world would be so much happier, and we may even come together a little bit more. Join me?
But though I'm excited, I'm scared to death. For obvious reasons. Will I REALLY know what to do when they are sick? What if something happens? Am I going to be able to give my child the life he/she deserves? And the big question: What if I screw them up? What if my child becomes like every other child on this planet that have no respect for anyone or anything around them because of me?
You see, these days, kids are NOTHING like what they used to be. Respect for elders, much less respect for ANYONE has diminished. I swear, if I had spoke to my parents the way some of these kids today do (or even kids MY age do), I would have had my REAR END WORE OUT and grounded til the END of TIME. Even grown adults have zero respect for each other anymore. It's sad.
My main issue is what happened to all those rules everyone learned in Kindergarten? The most BASIC and IMPORTANT rules a person can learn? I think Robert Fulghum had most of it right in All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.
So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.
But I think he left out one thing: When someone is speaking, you don't. Raise your hand to be called on. I mean don't you think so? I'll tell you why I'm going on this rant. So many times people miscommunicate, are hurt, don't get their fair share of something because NOBODY LISTENS TO THEM. Everyone is so self absorbed these days with the mind set of "its my way or the highway". Almost like "I'm right, you're wrong and I know it and I don't want to stop and think for a second that it's the other way around." We are all stubborn and self-absorbed, rude human beings. I'm not saying I'm not guilty because I am. I've just come to realize it recently.
Having said that, and working in the Hotel business, let's add a side note here. Just because you do listen to someone, and hear their point of view doesn't mean they will be right. For instance, (and I'm just speaking in Hotel terms)
"I had a reservation to come to your hotel tomorrow and I need to cancel. My son is in the hospital and I know that I have booked with a 3rd party and my reservation is non-cancellable and I know your rule is that you need documentation that my son is in the hospital but I'm not able to provide that so can you please just make an exception?"
Well, of course the answer would be no. But before I jump the gun and interrupt him before he speaks, like most people would do, I listen first. I listen to his issue, and I sympathize with him, and NICELY give him the bad news. What is so hard about taking that extra step to listen? Because we are all selfish people. I mean it's natural, that's how we are built. But that's also why you have these rules that you learn WAY back in the early stages to TEACH you RIGHT FROM WRONG and how to deal with yourself.
How many times have you felt this way: "Yes, I know I'm wrong, but can you just listen to me and sympathize with me for 2 seconds before you shut me down completely?" I rest my case. The GOLDEN RULE is a good illustration for that...
What happened to COMPASSION? What happened to LOVE? What happened to RESPECT? What happened to COMMUNICATION? I am making it a point to bang it in my child's head to LISTEN to all people and THINK before you SPEAK. Not to make him/her a wimp by any means; of course I'm going to teach self-defense as well. But AFTER they LISTEN. I think if everyone could live by that rule too, just like it was back in Kindergarten, this world would be so much happier, and we may even come together a little bit more. Join me?
Monday, June 20, 2011
Pregnancy: Fun, Exciting, and Stressful!
So let's back up a bit (and catch up) from what I talked about in my last blog....
First of all, I was not 16 weeks....only 7....which makes me 13 weeks tomorrow. We found that out at our first ultrasound. That was an amazing experience. Knowing you're pregnant is one thing, but then seeing your baby for the first time is both CONFIRMING and so REWARDING. Getting to hear the heartbeat is an entirely different feeling too. Being pregnant, if you're anything like me, you constantly worry about if that little life inside of you is okay: if you're eating the right things, if you're being active enough or too much, if putting objects on your belly is safe. (i.e. balancing a laptop on it, having the chihuahua climb all over it...) I know the doctor tells you not to stress, but I tell ya, and excuse my french, that's damn near impossible! So when you get to hear the heartbeat, and actually SEE your baby moving and SEE the heart beating on the screen, it's just so comforting and reassuring that everything is okay.
First of all, I was not 16 weeks....only 7....which makes me 13 weeks tomorrow. We found that out at our first ultrasound. That was an amazing experience. Knowing you're pregnant is one thing, but then seeing your baby for the first time is both CONFIRMING and so REWARDING. Getting to hear the heartbeat is an entirely different feeling too. Being pregnant, if you're anything like me, you constantly worry about if that little life inside of you is okay: if you're eating the right things, if you're being active enough or too much, if putting objects on your belly is safe. (i.e. balancing a laptop on it, having the chihuahua climb all over it...) I know the doctor tells you not to stress, but I tell ya, and excuse my french, that's damn near impossible! So when you get to hear the heartbeat, and actually SEE your baby moving and SEE the heart beating on the screen, it's just so comforting and reassuring that everything is okay.But being pregnant isn't all stress and sickness. It's also fun and exciting! The preparing and "nesting" part is a blast! Think about it. If any bone in your body, stirrup or femur, is creative, you enjoy the nesting part. You get to decorate an entire room from scratch, not out of (complete) want, but out of NECESSITY! Um, YES! The only thing that sucks about it for me right now, is I have no nursery to decorate. Which is also a good thing because since I don't know what the sex is yet, I can't decorate a nursery even if I did have one. But you better believe it that the SECOND I find out, I will start planning!
Registering was fun too. Kind of on the stressful part, but fun. This will sound awful, but if we're all honest adults here, its SO true: registering is like going on a big shopping spree without spending any money, but with the expectation of spending other peoples money. Lol, am I right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it true that you're not HALF as concerned about the prices of things as you would be if you were buying it all your own. That's the fun part. The stressful part was having the daddy go with you. Never making that mistake again. I love him, but geez. I know what I want, I know what I need, I know why I need it. Do not question me! (tee hee)
Another exciting but stressful part is the naming part. For one, I don't know what the sex is. I have a pretty good feeling that it's a girl, but I could be wrong. But then the name I did like, Cady Sophia....*sigh*....everyone around me says "CAdy?" noo....its CAYdee.....lol. And then there's the thinking of the boy names. Which is also hard because it seems to me like there isn't half as many boy names in the world as there are girls. And there are SO many boys in my family that have BEAUTIFUL names, it leaves my choices slim. (haha) But I'm sure that will come together with a little help from my friends =)
Please keep us in your prayers. This baby is going to be an adventure for us, and will change our lives, but we are SO excited! Please pray for a safe pregnancy and healthy delivery for our little "Peanut".
Registering was fun too. Kind of on the stressful part, but fun. This will sound awful, but if we're all honest adults here, its SO true: registering is like going on a big shopping spree without spending any money, but with the expectation of spending other peoples money. Lol, am I right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it true that you're not HALF as concerned about the prices of things as you would be if you were buying it all your own. That's the fun part. The stressful part was having the daddy go with you. Never making that mistake again. I love him, but geez. I know what I want, I know what I need, I know why I need it. Do not question me! (tee hee)
Another exciting but stressful part is the naming part. For one, I don't know what the sex is. I have a pretty good feeling that it's a girl, but I could be wrong. But then the name I did like, Cady Sophia....*sigh*....everyone around me says "CAdy?" noo....its CAYdee.....lol. And then there's the thinking of the boy names. Which is also hard because it seems to me like there isn't half as many boy names in the world as there are girls. And there are SO many boys in my family that have BEAUTIFUL names, it leaves my choices slim. (haha) But I'm sure that will come together with a little help from my friends =)
Please keep us in your prayers. This baby is going to be an adventure for us, and will change our lives, but we are SO excited! Please pray for a safe pregnancy and healthy delivery for our little "Peanut".
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Guess What? I'm PREGO!
On Thursday, April 28, 2011, life threw me a delightful curve-ball: I would be bringing a baby into the world. A number of things ran through my mind, the first being "O crap. What am I gonna do?!" But that feeling soon turned into a happy one.
You see, I was convinced I was unable to bear children at all. In fact, I already planned on asking my sister to be a surrogate mother, considered IVF treatments (how we would ever pay for those, I had no idea), and adoption. But later on of course. When Rick and I were married, and had the means to support not only ourselves but another human being 5 times over. But, as life would have it, and how it usually works with me, it doesn't care about my plans. I have "learned" that lesson over and over and over again, and I bet I will continue to "learn" it.
So, finding out that I was pregnant wasn't exactly a JOYOUS occasion at first: Rick and I both were super stressed out the first couple days. But after I went to the First Baptist Orlando pregnancy center (where the lady basically told me my baby would be an abomination and I needed to give it up for adoption...), and I received the pregnancy confirmation, our excitement grew! We would be parents! We would be bringing a baby into the world, and though we would be giving up a lot of things: so-called "freedom", spontaneity, late night outs, we would also gain responsibility, the REAL feeling of unconditional love, and JOY! What really helped was the support of our friends and family. Without that love, nothing is possible.
I am about 14 weeks, according to mine, my mothers, my sisters, and the pregnancy centers calculations..oh and the Droid application on my phone =) But when I go to the doctors this week, I will be certain (I hope). I will get to see the sex of the baby in about another 3 weeks or so. Naturally, Rick wants a boy. I want a girl. But either way, we will be thrilled. I have certain things for each sex planned out: name, nursery theme, etc. So it will be nice to finally know what I can follow through with, the navy nautical sailing theme, or Cady Isabella.
What's pregnancy like for me? Ugh. I don't like it. (Right now anyway) Mainly because the baby is too small for me to feel it, so all I do feel is nausea and fatigue (among other not-so-pleasant things). I eat all the time too! Rick has learned that when Mama is hungry, Mama is HUNGRY! Funny thing is though, I'm so hungry I think I can eat a whole 10 piece chicken dinner, I get done with a few fries and 2 of those pieces and I'm so stuffed I can't move. Why is that anyway? So, needless to say, I will be very relieved once I get passed this first trimester and the baby gets big enough so I can feel what I'm going through all this nastiness for. (I know, that sounded horrible....but I'm just being honest....I'm sure all you mothers out there can relate!)
I read Jenny McCarthy's "Belly Laughs". O. M. G. That book is hilarious. I love it because she hides NOTHING. She tells it just like it is. It's awesome. All you prego ladies out there (and even new moms) should read it. It's great! It really helped me to prepare for what I will be going through and how to get through it.
Am I scared? A little, and I'm sure that fear will grow once I see that baby on the screen in front of me. I have the FEELING of pregnancy, but I don't think it will actually hit me until I see the first picture of our baby. Then, I'll probably be even more scared. But, I also know that though it won't be EASY, it will be OKAY. It will be WORTH every ounce of pain and every change I have to go through. This baby will be the best thing I ever did and I will want to do it over and over again. I just hope that I don't screw he/she up...too much ;-)
You see, I was convinced I was unable to bear children at all. In fact, I already planned on asking my sister to be a surrogate mother, considered IVF treatments (how we would ever pay for those, I had no idea), and adoption. But later on of course. When Rick and I were married, and had the means to support not only ourselves but another human being 5 times over. But, as life would have it, and how it usually works with me, it doesn't care about my plans. I have "learned" that lesson over and over and over again, and I bet I will continue to "learn" it.
So, finding out that I was pregnant wasn't exactly a JOYOUS occasion at first: Rick and I both were super stressed out the first couple days. But after I went to the First Baptist Orlando pregnancy center (where the lady basically told me my baby would be an abomination and I needed to give it up for adoption...), and I received the pregnancy confirmation, our excitement grew! We would be parents! We would be bringing a baby into the world, and though we would be giving up a lot of things: so-called "freedom", spontaneity, late night outs, we would also gain responsibility, the REAL feeling of unconditional love, and JOY! What really helped was the support of our friends and family. Without that love, nothing is possible.
I am about 14 weeks, according to mine, my mothers, my sisters, and the pregnancy centers calculations..oh and the Droid application on my phone =) But when I go to the doctors this week, I will be certain (I hope). I will get to see the sex of the baby in about another 3 weeks or so. Naturally, Rick wants a boy. I want a girl. But either way, we will be thrilled. I have certain things for each sex planned out: name, nursery theme, etc. So it will be nice to finally know what I can follow through with, the navy nautical sailing theme, or Cady Isabella.
What's pregnancy like for me? Ugh. I don't like it. (Right now anyway) Mainly because the baby is too small for me to feel it, so all I do feel is nausea and fatigue (among other not-so-pleasant things). I eat all the time too! Rick has learned that when Mama is hungry, Mama is HUNGRY! Funny thing is though, I'm so hungry I think I can eat a whole 10 piece chicken dinner, I get done with a few fries and 2 of those pieces and I'm so stuffed I can't move. Why is that anyway? So, needless to say, I will be very relieved once I get passed this first trimester and the baby gets big enough so I can feel what I'm going through all this nastiness for. (I know, that sounded horrible....but I'm just being honest....I'm sure all you mothers out there can relate!)
I read Jenny McCarthy's "Belly Laughs". O. M. G. That book is hilarious. I love it because she hides NOTHING. She tells it just like it is. It's awesome. All you prego ladies out there (and even new moms) should read it. It's great! It really helped me to prepare for what I will be going through and how to get through it.
Am I scared? A little, and I'm sure that fear will grow once I see that baby on the screen in front of me. I have the FEELING of pregnancy, but I don't think it will actually hit me until I see the first picture of our baby. Then, I'll probably be even more scared. But, I also know that though it won't be EASY, it will be OKAY. It will be WORTH every ounce of pain and every change I have to go through. This baby will be the best thing I ever did and I will want to do it over and over again. I just hope that I don't screw he/she up...too much ;-)
Saturday, March 5, 2011
P!NK Is My Hero
I have been deeply inspired lately. Not by an idea, or a place, and not JUST by a person or a song....but by a person AND their music. The person? Alecia Beth Moore, also known as, P!NK!
Now, I haven't always liked P!NK. Actually in the beginning, when she first came out in 2000, I didn't like her at all. I thought she was a little "ghetto" to me and I would actually turn the channel when her songs came on the radio. I know, that's horrible. But it wasn't until about a year or so ago that I really started getting into her, and I owe that to VH1's Behind the Music: P!NK episode that aired in late 2009. See, I didn't know that P!NK was a songwriter. I have an incredible respect for songwriters and artists who are NATURALLY talented. I didn't know it before, but P!NK is both, and she also has an incredible story.
Alecia Beth Moore was born in Doyleston, Pennsylvania on September 8, 1979. Her household wasn't a very "happy" household, what with her parents fighting all the time. When she was 8 years old, her father left. This devastated Moore, and she turned to music as solace. Her first solo performance was at age 9, as was the first time she started smoking cigarettes. Pot followed when she turned 11, at 12 she started acid and by age 13, she was using all the hard club drugs. She was on the road for danger. In fact, she was already there. She began throwing "K" parties at her moms house while she was working, and selling drugs on the side. Though the parties were bad, one party in particular helped Alecia achieve her dream of becoming an international pop star. A few guys overheard Moore singing in her bedroom and approached her with a request for her to be their lead singer for their garage band, Middleground. Moore accepted, and at the age of 13, she was a rockstar.
Over the next few years, Moore performed in clubs in downtown Philidelphia. Most of the clubs she performed in consisted of mostly black people and there were many times she would be the only white girl to be found. It was intimidating for her at first, but once she opened her mouth and everyone realized she could sing, she earned a lot of respect. Her bodyguard gave her the nickname, Pinky. And it stuck.
At age 15, she was discovered at one of the many clubs she performed at and was asked to join the up and coming band, Choice. The group went all over the U.S. performing for Big Whig record execs to cut a record deal. In one of the meetings with Big Whig, Tommy Matola, Moore showed her true bad a$$ colors. Matola wasn't paying attention to the girls at all and Moore wasn't too happy about it. So she stood up for her and her friends, saying "Can you at least act like you're paying attention and not look out the f***ing window while we're singing? Cause I didn't smoke today!" That didn't make them get any closer to a record deal of course, but it showed that Moore wasn't taking any BS from anyone.
After only 3 years with Choice, Moore proved to be way ahead of the other 2 girls in the group to the point where her manager gave her an ultimatum: go solo, or go home. This was one of the hardest decisions she would ever have to make, but it was also the best. One day, she was Alecia Beth Moore and the next, she was P!NK. She died her hair a fucshia color and cut it super short and never went back.
"I never liked 'Alecia' it never felt like me. Everyone called me 'Pinky' in Philly, that's who I was. I loved it, I didn't care cause my main cheesy point was 'We're all pink in the inside. We're all the same, people, it doesn't matter."
In the year 2000, P!NK's first album, Can't Take Me Home debuted and with her first paycheck, she bought back her father's gold rolex he sold years earlier to pay for child support as a gift to her dad. That says a lot about her character. She was also excited to be able to give back to her dad, and especially something that had meant so much to him.
After her first album, P!NK was asked to join Mya, Lil Kim, and Christina Aguilera in the movie soundtrack "Lady Marmalade". It was a great career move for P!NK but it came with a cost. At the meeting to decide which part would go to which diva, Aguilera's label exec, Ron Fehr showed up and without saying so much as a hello or introducing himself he asked what the highest and most "singing" part was, and told everyone at the meeting that that part would be going to Aguilera. P!NK wasn't having it. "Hi, how are you? So nice of you to introduce yourself. I'm P!NK. She will not be taking that part. I think that's what the f***ing meeting is about!" hahahaha! Do you see why I love her now? The song ended up landing P!NK her first grammy for "Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals".
Soon, it was time for P!NK to start on her next album. But she wanted to change things up a bit.
"I wasn't getting enough of "me" out and I thought that if I talked about enough "real" stuff, maybe one day I could be a songwriter. I wanted to do that...I made a conscious decision that I would never repeat myself and I wanted to go find Linda Perry."
Who is Linda Perry? Well, she was the lead singer for the one-hit-wonder band "4 Non Blondes" in 1992. You may recognize "And so I wake in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs, 'WHATS GOING ON?!" No? Ok, listen to the song.
It was not only a great opportunity for P!NK to fnd Perry but it was opportunity for Perry as well. To get back to doing what she loved after disappearing after one big hit 8 years before was a huge reward. They saved each other.
"Linda was the first person that sat me down, put a microphone in my hand, and just said "Here, tell me how you're feeling....Just tell me what's on your mind basically, in a melody." For your childhood idol to be sitting in front of you, making you feel understood for the first time in your life, I can't even explain how that feels."
Perry was P!NK's aid in channeling her troubled childhood and to start the healing process. "I literally went into the vocal booth, closed my eyes, 20 minutes later, I'm sobbing and "Family Portrait" was written."
"Family Portrait". A song that appears on P!NK's second album, Missundazstood, tells the story of P!NK's childhood, and her parents non-stop quarrelling.
"You fight about money, about me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter.
It ain't easy growin up in World War 3
Never knowin what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family..."
Missundaztood almost never happened. P!NK's music exec, L.A. Reid didn't think it was a good idea for her to totally re-design her image. She had become someone what of an R&B icon, and that's not what P!NK wanted. So when Reid told her he was giving her the opportunity to fail, P!NK said 'Thank You' and proved him wrong. Missundaztood went platinum, selling 10 million copies the first week it came out.
"My favorite part was being able to say "I told you so" to L.A."
Soon after Missundaztood's success, P!NK met Cary Hart at a Motorcross race. A week later, they became a couple and were inseperable.
The relationship soon ended after only a year because of the stresses of traveling and being on the road. P!NK was devastated. On top of breaking up with the love of her life, she found out that Perry began working with Aguilera to write the song "Beautiful".
"I took it really personally when she started working with other artists, particularly artists that I didn't like. I don't think imitation is the highest form of flattery. I think it's annoying."
After asking Perry to help her with her next album, and getting rejected, P!NK shut down.
"I didn't wanna go deep. I didn't really have much to say."
"It was obvious that she just checked out and didn't really wanna put a whole lot of emotion into it." -Linda Perry
"I was over it. I didn't wanna talk about myself anymore. So I made a fun record with Tim Armstrong."
Try This came out in 2003. It wasn't a hit itself, but the song "Trouble" earned her her first Grammy as a solo artist for Female Rock Vocal. But though she was becoming more and more successful, she didn't feel complete without Hart by her side. So, at a motorcross race where P!NK was "pit boarding" she proposed to Carey by writing on the back of a board "Will You Marry Me". With Hart's "yes", P!NK was more inspired than ever to pour her heart into her next album, I'm Not Dead.
Try This gave me an emotional break.....[when the next album came along] I felt alive. That's why I named the [next] record, I'm Not Dead."
In that album, songs such as "U and Ur Hand", "Who Knew" and "Dear Mr. President" came. My favorite one is "Dear Mr. President".
"I could not believe that George W. Bush was our president. No one says anything because everyone wants to walk that line not to piss anybody off. SCREW THAT! I didn't grow up like that..."
Absolutely love that song and I'm not really sure why. It's beautiful first of all, but I'm not political at all. I think I just love that it's so factual. I call it the "Forrest Gump-ish" song. You know, everything in that movie was based on fact but it was told in a creative way?
Soon after I'm Not Dead went platinum, she married Hart. But immediately after the wedding, P!NK went on the "I'm Not Dead" 2 year international tour. Their marriage soon began to fall apart because of the separation, once again. Of course it did. You're married for 3 weeks and then you don't see each other for 2 months? That's just insane. So, when P!NK came home, she tried to make things better by taking a vacation with some of their friends. On that vacation, P!NK came up with the song "Mean". It came out naturally to her, and it was written and performed in front of everyone. That song didn't go over well with Hart and they announced their split on Valentines Day. For P!NK, the separation reminded her too much of her parents divorce. It was then that she began working on Funhouse.
"P!NK once again turned to her music to help heal her pain and began the most cathartic writing experience of her career."- Behind the Music
"From heartbreak comes inspiration. There was nothing on that lyrically that wasn't heartfelt." Butch, the dude that helped her write for Funhouse.
"I wanted to name the record "Heartbreak is a Mother F***er [laughs] cause it is [laughs]." -P!NK
The label wanted to release "So What" as the first single to the album, but P!NK was worried that because the song was written about Hart, it would probably hurt him if he heard it without knowing about it. So she agreed to release it, only if Hart could appear in the music video. That was genius because it led the couple to get back together and "So What" turned out to be her first solo number one hit on the charts.
I only wish I had gotten to know P!NK sooner. She is quite a remarkable woman. I love her to death. Her latest 2 songs, "Raise Your Glass" and "F***in Perfect" have become my "favorite songs of the moment". Her writing is amazing. I always said that one of my rules for music was that the song had to have some sort of meaning behind it. Most of P!NK's music has a ton of meaning behind it. Whether it's a humorous, upbeat song, or a heartfelt ballad, it's all beautiful. I admire her greatly because of her talent and because of the fact that she's so carefree. She doesn't give a rats @$$ what people think of her. She is genuine and REAL, outspoken and intelligent. But behind all the hard-core-ness, she is GENTLE and KIND. Not only that but she is GORGEOUS. I really hope to meet her one of these days.
On her marriage to Hart: "I see a lifetime prescription to Xanax, many broken bones, and a really safe warm yummy place." See? I just love that.
Now, I haven't always liked P!NK. Actually in the beginning, when she first came out in 2000, I didn't like her at all. I thought she was a little "ghetto" to me and I would actually turn the channel when her songs came on the radio. I know, that's horrible. But it wasn't until about a year or so ago that I really started getting into her, and I owe that to VH1's Behind the Music: P!NK episode that aired in late 2009. See, I didn't know that P!NK was a songwriter. I have an incredible respect for songwriters and artists who are NATURALLY talented. I didn't know it before, but P!NK is both, and she also has an incredible story.
Alecia Beth Moore was born in Doyleston, Pennsylvania on September 8, 1979. Her household wasn't a very "happy" household, what with her parents fighting all the time. When she was 8 years old, her father left. This devastated Moore, and she turned to music as solace. Her first solo performance was at age 9, as was the first time she started smoking cigarettes. Pot followed when she turned 11, at 12 she started acid and by age 13, she was using all the hard club drugs. She was on the road for danger. In fact, she was already there. She began throwing "K" parties at her moms house while she was working, and selling drugs on the side. Though the parties were bad, one party in particular helped Alecia achieve her dream of becoming an international pop star. A few guys overheard Moore singing in her bedroom and approached her with a request for her to be their lead singer for their garage band, Middleground. Moore accepted, and at the age of 13, she was a rockstar.
Over the next few years, Moore performed in clubs in downtown Philidelphia. Most of the clubs she performed in consisted of mostly black people and there were many times she would be the only white girl to be found. It was intimidating for her at first, but once she opened her mouth and everyone realized she could sing, she earned a lot of respect. Her bodyguard gave her the nickname, Pinky. And it stuck.
At age 15, she was discovered at one of the many clubs she performed at and was asked to join the up and coming band, Choice. The group went all over the U.S. performing for Big Whig record execs to cut a record deal. In one of the meetings with Big Whig, Tommy Matola, Moore showed her true bad a$$ colors. Matola wasn't paying attention to the girls at all and Moore wasn't too happy about it. So she stood up for her and her friends, saying "Can you at least act like you're paying attention and not look out the f***ing window while we're singing? Cause I didn't smoke today!" That didn't make them get any closer to a record deal of course, but it showed that Moore wasn't taking any BS from anyone.
After only 3 years with Choice, Moore proved to be way ahead of the other 2 girls in the group to the point where her manager gave her an ultimatum: go solo, or go home. This was one of the hardest decisions she would ever have to make, but it was also the best. One day, she was Alecia Beth Moore and the next, she was P!NK. She died her hair a fucshia color and cut it super short and never went back.
"I never liked 'Alecia' it never felt like me. Everyone called me 'Pinky' in Philly, that's who I was. I loved it, I didn't care cause my main cheesy point was 'We're all pink in the inside. We're all the same, people, it doesn't matter."
In the year 2000, P!NK's first album, Can't Take Me Home debuted and with her first paycheck, she bought back her father's gold rolex he sold years earlier to pay for child support as a gift to her dad. That says a lot about her character. She was also excited to be able to give back to her dad, and especially something that had meant so much to him.
After her first album, P!NK was asked to join Mya, Lil Kim, and Christina Aguilera in the movie soundtrack "Lady Marmalade". It was a great career move for P!NK but it came with a cost. At the meeting to decide which part would go to which diva, Aguilera's label exec, Ron Fehr showed up and without saying so much as a hello or introducing himself he asked what the highest and most "singing" part was, and told everyone at the meeting that that part would be going to Aguilera. P!NK wasn't having it. "Hi, how are you? So nice of you to introduce yourself. I'm P!NK. She will not be taking that part. I think that's what the f***ing meeting is about!" hahahaha! Do you see why I love her now? The song ended up landing P!NK her first grammy for "Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals".
Soon, it was time for P!NK to start on her next album. But she wanted to change things up a bit.
"I wasn't getting enough of "me" out and I thought that if I talked about enough "real" stuff, maybe one day I could be a songwriter. I wanted to do that...I made a conscious decision that I would never repeat myself and I wanted to go find Linda Perry."
Who is Linda Perry? Well, she was the lead singer for the one-hit-wonder band "4 Non Blondes" in 1992. You may recognize "And so I wake in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs, 'WHATS GOING ON?!" No? Ok, listen to the song.
It was not only a great opportunity for P!NK to fnd Perry but it was opportunity for Perry as well. To get back to doing what she loved after disappearing after one big hit 8 years before was a huge reward. They saved each other.
"Linda was the first person that sat me down, put a microphone in my hand, and just said "Here, tell me how you're feeling....Just tell me what's on your mind basically, in a melody." For your childhood idol to be sitting in front of you, making you feel understood for the first time in your life, I can't even explain how that feels."
Perry was P!NK's aid in channeling her troubled childhood and to start the healing process. "I literally went into the vocal booth, closed my eyes, 20 minutes later, I'm sobbing and "Family Portrait" was written."
"Family Portrait". A song that appears on P!NK's second album, Missundazstood, tells the story of P!NK's childhood, and her parents non-stop quarrelling.
"You fight about money, about me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter.
It ain't easy growin up in World War 3
Never knowin what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family..."
Missundaztood almost never happened. P!NK's music exec, L.A. Reid didn't think it was a good idea for her to totally re-design her image. She had become someone what of an R&B icon, and that's not what P!NK wanted. So when Reid told her he was giving her the opportunity to fail, P!NK said 'Thank You' and proved him wrong. Missundaztood went platinum, selling 10 million copies the first week it came out.
"My favorite part was being able to say "I told you so" to L.A."
Soon after Missundaztood's success, P!NK met Cary Hart at a Motorcross race. A week later, they became a couple and were inseperable.
"I took it really personally when she started working with other artists, particularly artists that I didn't like. I don't think imitation is the highest form of flattery. I think it's annoying."
After asking Perry to help her with her next album, and getting rejected, P!NK shut down.
"I didn't wanna go deep. I didn't really have much to say."
"It was obvious that she just checked out and didn't really wanna put a whole lot of emotion into it." -Linda Perry
"I was over it. I didn't wanna talk about myself anymore. So I made a fun record with Tim Armstrong."
Try This came out in 2003. It wasn't a hit itself, but the song "Trouble" earned her her first Grammy as a solo artist for Female Rock Vocal. But though she was becoming more and more successful, she didn't feel complete without Hart by her side. So, at a motorcross race where P!NK was "pit boarding" she proposed to Carey by writing on the back of a board "Will You Marry Me". With Hart's "yes", P!NK was more inspired than ever to pour her heart into her next album, I'm Not Dead.
Try This gave me an emotional break.....[when the next album came along] I felt alive. That's why I named the [next] record, I'm Not Dead."
In that album, songs such as "U and Ur Hand", "Who Knew" and "Dear Mr. President" came. My favorite one is "Dear Mr. President".
"I could not believe that George W. Bush was our president. No one says anything because everyone wants to walk that line not to piss anybody off. SCREW THAT! I didn't grow up like that..."
Dear Mr. President Lyrics
Dear Mr. President, come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions
If we could speak honestly
What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye and tell me why?
Dear Mr. President, were you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say "No child is left behind?"
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell
What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the First Lady has to say:
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.
Let me tell you about hard work:
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you about hard work:
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you about hard work:
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you about hard work, hard work, hard work
You don't know nothin bout hard work, hard work, hard work
How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President,
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you?
Absolutely love that song and I'm not really sure why. It's beautiful first of all, but I'm not political at all. I think I just love that it's so factual. I call it the "Forrest Gump-ish" song. You know, everything in that movie was based on fact but it was told in a creative way?
Soon after I'm Not Dead went platinum, she married Hart. But immediately after the wedding, P!NK went on the "I'm Not Dead" 2 year international tour. Their marriage soon began to fall apart because of the separation, once again. Of course it did. You're married for 3 weeks and then you don't see each other for 2 months? That's just insane. So, when P!NK came home, she tried to make things better by taking a vacation with some of their friends. On that vacation, P!NK came up with the song "Mean". It came out naturally to her, and it was written and performed in front of everyone. That song didn't go over well with Hart and they announced their split on Valentines Day. For P!NK, the separation reminded her too much of her parents divorce. It was then that she began working on Funhouse.
"P!NK once again turned to her music to help heal her pain and began the most cathartic writing experience of her career."- Behind the Music
"From heartbreak comes inspiration. There was nothing on that lyrically that wasn't heartfelt." Butch, the dude that helped her write for Funhouse.
"I wanted to name the record "Heartbreak is a Mother F***er [laughs] cause it is [laughs]." -P!NK
The label wanted to release "So What" as the first single to the album, but P!NK was worried that because the song was written about Hart, it would probably hurt him if he heard it without knowing about it. So she agreed to release it, only if Hart could appear in the music video. That was genius because it led the couple to get back together and "So What" turned out to be her first solo number one hit on the charts.
I only wish I had gotten to know P!NK sooner. She is quite a remarkable woman. I love her to death. Her latest 2 songs, "Raise Your Glass" and "F***in Perfect" have become my "favorite songs of the moment". Her writing is amazing. I always said that one of my rules for music was that the song had to have some sort of meaning behind it. Most of P!NK's music has a ton of meaning behind it. Whether it's a humorous, upbeat song, or a heartfelt ballad, it's all beautiful. I admire her greatly because of her talent and because of the fact that she's so carefree. She doesn't give a rats @$$ what people think of her. She is genuine and REAL, outspoken and intelligent. But behind all the hard-core-ness, she is GENTLE and KIND. Not only that but she is GORGEOUS. I really hope to meet her one of these days.
On her marriage to Hart: "I see a lifetime prescription to Xanax, many broken bones, and a really safe warm yummy place." See? I just love that.
I love it =)
"It's been a ferocious search, me being comfortable in my own skin. I have owned and embraced my integrity and I feel like I still have a lot of fight left in me. I can't explain it without sounding delusional...I signed up for this life before I got here, I chose it. I chose all the obstacles as well. I chose all the challenges, I chose all the pain of my childhood, which would eventually bring me to be able to write the kinds of songs and feel the kinds of emotions and not be afraid of the pain to do what I do."
Well said, baby, well said.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Dear Daddy
He used to be the man I wanted to marry one day. Then he became the man who I looked up to, the person I aspired to be. Soon, he became the man I adored and who I thought hung the moon. He was the strong one. The one that held me as a child, and still called me his little girl as an adult.
But suddenly, that man changed. He became unrecognizable. The "I love you's" I heard daily started coming less and less often. The hugs I received all the time happened more rarely that I ever dreamed they would, and the "I'm proud of you's" completely deceased. He was supposed to be the man I knew would NEVER let me down. The one man in the world who I knew I could ALWAYS count on. The ONE man in the world who loved me UNCONDITIONALLY. In my head, I know he does, but my heart is a little more skeptical.
The one time in my life that I need him most is the one time in my life that he disappears. I don't mean physically, I mean emotionally. Perhaps it's because I don't talk to him. We have never really had the "talking" kind of relationship, EVER. When we do talk, it does nothing. It never has. He doesn't listen to me, and I fear he never will.
No wonder I attach myself to the men who hurt me, and pull away from the ones who want to "take care of me". The one man who said he always would (and who has, materialistically, but has failed horribly in other areas, you know, the areas that matter) let me down.
I thought that a parent's number one priority in life was to see their children happy. Didn't matter what they did to MAKE themselves happy, as long as it wasn't illegal of course, but as long as they were HAPPY....I thought that's all that mattered. I thought that their job was to help them, help them in any way they needed. Sure, teach them right from wrong. Show a little tough love every now and then. But when their children NEEDED love at one of the most confusing times of their life, I thought that as a parent, that would be the one thing they would be most willing to give. I guess I was wrong....
You would think with the way my parents are acting that I was into some hard drugs or something like that.....but no. I'm just happy. Or I was. I finally had some clarity and contentment in my life. But not anymore.....and it is ashame....
So, to my Daddy....
I'm sorry I'm not as successful as you want me to be. I'm sorry that I have somehow disappointed you by being excessively happy. I'm sorry that I don't do things EXACTLY right, and that by being in your house, the house I used to call mine, I have become a burden to you. I'm sorry.
But suddenly, that man changed. He became unrecognizable. The "I love you's" I heard daily started coming less and less often. The hugs I received all the time happened more rarely that I ever dreamed they would, and the "I'm proud of you's" completely deceased. He was supposed to be the man I knew would NEVER let me down. The one man in the world who I knew I could ALWAYS count on. The ONE man in the world who loved me UNCONDITIONALLY. In my head, I know he does, but my heart is a little more skeptical.
The one time in my life that I need him most is the one time in my life that he disappears. I don't mean physically, I mean emotionally. Perhaps it's because I don't talk to him. We have never really had the "talking" kind of relationship, EVER. When we do talk, it does nothing. It never has. He doesn't listen to me, and I fear he never will.
No wonder I attach myself to the men who hurt me, and pull away from the ones who want to "take care of me". The one man who said he always would (and who has, materialistically, but has failed horribly in other areas, you know, the areas that matter) let me down.
I thought that a parent's number one priority in life was to see their children happy. Didn't matter what they did to MAKE themselves happy, as long as it wasn't illegal of course, but as long as they were HAPPY....I thought that's all that mattered. I thought that their job was to help them, help them in any way they needed. Sure, teach them right from wrong. Show a little tough love every now and then. But when their children NEEDED love at one of the most confusing times of their life, I thought that as a parent, that would be the one thing they would be most willing to give. I guess I was wrong....
You would think with the way my parents are acting that I was into some hard drugs or something like that.....but no. I'm just happy. Or I was. I finally had some clarity and contentment in my life. But not anymore.....and it is ashame....
So, to my Daddy....
I'm sorry I'm not as successful as you want me to be. I'm sorry that I have somehow disappointed you by being excessively happy. I'm sorry that I don't do things EXACTLY right, and that by being in your house, the house I used to call mine, I have become a burden to you. I'm sorry.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Best Friends: Common Sense Not Required
*Disclaimer* PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS BLOG CONTAINS THINGS THAT IF YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR OR ARE EASILY OFFENDED, YOU SHOULD NOT READ!
As most of you who know me know, my best childhood friend is Julianna Cole.
We have always, and when I say always, I mean the past 22 years, been best friends and we probably always will be. It's a funny thing though because we are complete opposites. Granted, we do have a lot of the same taste in music (for the most part; she likes rap and I like oldies and alternative stuff), but we are very different girls. She is slender, skinny, but very active and athletic. Me, well, I'm curvy and lazy. HAH! She has always had long, thick, beautiful curly hair. Mine was curly as well, but I have cut it through the years, which has straightened it out quite a bit. She was raised with, shall we say PRIVELIGES. I was blessed, but she has been very well off her whole life. I have been working since I was 17. She hasn't really ever had a real job before.
But the point of this blog is not to note our differences, it is to note that we are both very smart girls. But sometimes, we lack MUCH common sense.
Let's start with the Tanning Bed incident, shall we?
Picture if you will, me, driving in my little red ranger on a beautiful sunny spring day. I'm about 17, listening to the radio, jamming out, when I get a phone call from my dear friend, Miss Julianna. The conversation goes as follows:
Julianna: Lia, hey I had a question and I wanted to ask you because you're the only one who won't laugh at me....
Lia: Oh Lord, here we go.
(She was always asking me the funniest things. Why she thought I wouldn't laugh at her, I had no idea. But I couldn't wait to hear what she had to say)
Julianna: haha, yea. So, I've started going to the bed recently. I've gone about 3 or 4 times now and everytime I leave, I notice that my back is really really tan, but I'm getting nothing on my front.
Lia: (trying to hold back laughs, only imagining what's coming next) Yes....
Julianna: Yea, and so I got out of the tanning bed today and I had to lean on the bed to put my clothes back on....
Lia: Uh huh....
Julianna: ....and well, the top of it, it moved!
There was a long silence because at this point because first of all, I'm silently cracking up, and second of all I'm trying to figure out what the hell she means by "the top" of it. Then I figure out, to my dismay, she has to be talking about the LID!
Lia: yes....it does that....? What's your question?
Julianna: Well, am I supposed to lower it down over me while I'm tanning?
Oh. My. God. Yea, I couldn't hold the laughter in too much at this point. But, I still tried through laughter to say....
Lia: Yes, hun. When you lay in it, the bulbs you're laying on get your back, and the top of it gets your front.
Julianna: Okay. THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Lia: Yup, anytime. Love you too.
*click*
Lia: HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER!!!!!! LOUDLY!!!!
To this day, I don't and never will let her live that down.
Proceeding to exhibit B.
I guess I should have started with this first since it happened first....but I couldn't wait to tell of the tanning bed =P (Can't you tell I LOVE my best friend?)
This incident has to do with MY stupidity. We're about 14 years old at Camp Caswell with our church youth groups. We were at that age where Mother Nature just started her regular visits. Now, my mother wasn't comfortable with me using tampons at such a young age, and neither was I. I didn't understand why women wore them. But I soon found out that they were a whole lot more comfortable than I thought.
Our churches were very close in location to one another in town. So, since we were going to the same camp on the same week, we decided to follow each other down. It was about 8 hours away from home....it was on the coast of NC, near Wilmington, right on the beach. It was July 2003, very hot outside and it was definitely BIKINI season.
Because Mother Nature had paid me a visit on my vacation, I wasn't quite sure how I was going to go swimming. How do you swim in a pad? Had I been brave enough to wear a tampon, I could most certainly go. But again, how do women STAND to wear tampons? It was totally beyond my belief.
I went to her church's cabin to meet up with the girls of her youth group so we could all put our bathing suits on and go. Well, except me of course. The conversation went something like this.
Kim: (Julianna's mom) Lia, sweetie, why aren't you going swimming?
Lia: O, well, I just started my period, so I can't. It's okay though. I can just lay out.
Kim: What do you mean you can't? Why don't you wear a tampon?
Lia: They're just uncomfortable
Kim: Really? Why? Are you putting them in far enough?
Well, by this time I'm blushing. This was just taboo for me to talk to my mom about, much less my best friends mother, and all the other mothers there.
Lia: Um, I think if I put it in further it may hurt.
Kim: (Looking puzzled) Are you putting it in right?
Lia: Well, I think so.
Julianna: here (handing me a tampon) Go put it in, and then walk out and tell us how it feels.
Lia: well, okay then.
I go into the bathroom and put the thing in. God, this was so embarrassing. Why were they doing this to me? After being in there for a while, reading the instructions, following them (or so I thought) I walked out, wobbling, with something sticking out from between my legs. Yup. It looked like I had grown a penis.
All the ladies just stared at me like cows looking at a new gate. I was humiliated. Why were they staring? And why didn't any of them look like I did? Where were their fake penises?
Then it occurred to me that I had to be doing something wrong. Julianna's laughter confirmed it.
Julianna: NO WONDER IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE!
Lia: What are you talking about?
Kim: Lia, (laughing hysterically), honey you're supposed to push the cotton UP....you're not supposed to leave the applicator in there....
Lia: The cotton? What cotton?
By this time, every girl in that cabin was cracking up at me, the moms included.
Julianna: There's a cotton thing inside the applicator, Lia. You never noticed that?
Lia: No, not really.....
So, needless to say, I had a tampon lesson that day, right there in the cabin. From that day forward, tampons have been one of my best friends. =)
Fast forward about 6 or 7 years. We were 19 years old. I had moved to Orlando, FL and started working at Walt Disneyworld. Had just moved into my first apartment and who was my first guest? Julianna of course. Her mom gave me a 100 dollar gift card to Wal Mart as a house-warming present, and food for the week Julianna would be staying there. So, among food, and a few other knick knacks, we got some cheap salt and pepper shakers and the cooresponding ingredients. For some odd reason, perhaps the excitement of having my first place, my own kitched utensils and appliances, and getting to do things MY way for the first time ever, I couldn't wait to go home and start using those salt and pepper shakers.
We ended up getting ground pepper, which, for that particular pepper shaker was the wrong kind. But, I figured, hey, pepper is pepper. So what if it's messy when it comes out? We got the right salt, but putting it into the shaker was an adventure indeed.
Picture if you will, two 19 year old girls, standing in the kitchen, yapping away. Me, opening my new appliances and getting the salt and pepper ready to put in them. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this, right?
I turn the salt shaker upside down to apply the salt, because the hole was on the bottom, and I couldn't apply the salt from the top, right? Right. So, I start pouring the salt in. Again, Julianna and I are talking away. At one point, I look down at the salt shaker to see the progress it's making in filling up. It's not filling up at all. As I look down farther I see my mistake, but not before I saw a HUGE pile of salt hanging out on my counter.
I look at Julianna. She looks back at me. And the laughter begins. I guess I should have closed the holes, or put my hand UNDER the holes....but I just didn't think about it I guess....
So, yes....Julianna and I are best friends. We are very different. But when it comes to common sense, we are just about the same; but I wouldn't change it for the world.....=)
As most of you who know me know, my best childhood friend is Julianna Cole.
But the point of this blog is not to note our differences, it is to note that we are both very smart girls. But sometimes, we lack MUCH common sense.
Let's start with the Tanning Bed incident, shall we?
Picture if you will, me, driving in my little red ranger on a beautiful sunny spring day. I'm about 17, listening to the radio, jamming out, when I get a phone call from my dear friend, Miss Julianna. The conversation goes as follows:
Julianna: Lia, hey I had a question and I wanted to ask you because you're the only one who won't laugh at me....
Lia: Oh Lord, here we go.
(She was always asking me the funniest things. Why she thought I wouldn't laugh at her, I had no idea. But I couldn't wait to hear what she had to say)
Julianna: haha, yea. So, I've started going to the bed recently. I've gone about 3 or 4 times now and everytime I leave, I notice that my back is really really tan, but I'm getting nothing on my front.
Lia: (trying to hold back laughs, only imagining what's coming next) Yes....
Julianna: Yea, and so I got out of the tanning bed today and I had to lean on the bed to put my clothes back on....
Lia: Uh huh....
Julianna: ....and well, the top of it, it moved!
There was a long silence because at this point because first of all, I'm silently cracking up, and second of all I'm trying to figure out what the hell she means by "the top" of it. Then I figure out, to my dismay, she has to be talking about the LID!
Lia: yes....it does that....? What's your question?
Julianna: Well, am I supposed to lower it down over me while I'm tanning?
Oh. My. God. Yea, I couldn't hold the laughter in too much at this point. But, I still tried through laughter to say....
Lia: Yes, hun. When you lay in it, the bulbs you're laying on get your back, and the top of it gets your front.
Julianna: Okay. THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Lia: Yup, anytime. Love you too.
*click*
Lia: HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER!!!!!! LOUDLY!!!!
To this day, I don't and never will let her live that down.
Proceeding to exhibit B.
I guess I should have started with this first since it happened first....but I couldn't wait to tell of the tanning bed =P (Can't you tell I LOVE my best friend?)
This incident has to do with MY stupidity. We're about 14 years old at Camp Caswell with our church youth groups. We were at that age where Mother Nature just started her regular visits. Now, my mother wasn't comfortable with me using tampons at such a young age, and neither was I. I didn't understand why women wore them. But I soon found out that they were a whole lot more comfortable than I thought.
Our churches were very close in location to one another in town. So, since we were going to the same camp on the same week, we decided to follow each other down. It was about 8 hours away from home....it was on the coast of NC, near Wilmington, right on the beach. It was July 2003, very hot outside and it was definitely BIKINI season.
Because Mother Nature had paid me a visit on my vacation, I wasn't quite sure how I was going to go swimming. How do you swim in a pad? Had I been brave enough to wear a tampon, I could most certainly go. But again, how do women STAND to wear tampons? It was totally beyond my belief.
I went to her church's cabin to meet up with the girls of her youth group so we could all put our bathing suits on and go. Well, except me of course. The conversation went something like this.
Kim: (Julianna's mom) Lia, sweetie, why aren't you going swimming?
Lia: O, well, I just started my period, so I can't. It's okay though. I can just lay out.
Kim: What do you mean you can't? Why don't you wear a tampon?
Lia: They're just uncomfortable
Kim: Really? Why? Are you putting them in far enough?
Well, by this time I'm blushing. This was just taboo for me to talk to my mom about, much less my best friends mother, and all the other mothers there.
Lia: Um, I think if I put it in further it may hurt.
Kim: (Looking puzzled) Are you putting it in right?
Lia: Well, I think so.
Julianna: here (handing me a tampon) Go put it in, and then walk out and tell us how it feels.
Lia: well, okay then.
I go into the bathroom and put the thing in. God, this was so embarrassing. Why were they doing this to me? After being in there for a while, reading the instructions, following them (or so I thought) I walked out, wobbling, with something sticking out from between my legs. Yup. It looked like I had grown a penis.
All the ladies just stared at me like cows looking at a new gate. I was humiliated. Why were they staring? And why didn't any of them look like I did? Where were their fake penises?
Then it occurred to me that I had to be doing something wrong. Julianna's laughter confirmed it.
Julianna: NO WONDER IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE!
Lia: What are you talking about?
Kim: Lia, (laughing hysterically), honey you're supposed to push the cotton UP....you're not supposed to leave the applicator in there....
Lia: The cotton? What cotton?
By this time, every girl in that cabin was cracking up at me, the moms included.
Julianna: There's a cotton thing inside the applicator, Lia. You never noticed that?
Lia: No, not really.....
So, needless to say, I had a tampon lesson that day, right there in the cabin. From that day forward, tampons have been one of my best friends. =)
Fast forward about 6 or 7 years. We were 19 years old. I had moved to Orlando, FL and started working at Walt Disneyworld. Had just moved into my first apartment and who was my first guest? Julianna of course. Her mom gave me a 100 dollar gift card to Wal Mart as a house-warming present, and food for the week Julianna would be staying there. So, among food, and a few other knick knacks, we got some cheap salt and pepper shakers and the cooresponding ingredients. For some odd reason, perhaps the excitement of having my first place, my own kitched utensils and appliances, and getting to do things MY way for the first time ever, I couldn't wait to go home and start using those salt and pepper shakers.
We ended up getting ground pepper, which, for that particular pepper shaker was the wrong kind. But, I figured, hey, pepper is pepper. So what if it's messy when it comes out? We got the right salt, but putting it into the shaker was an adventure indeed.
Picture if you will, two 19 year old girls, standing in the kitchen, yapping away. Me, opening my new appliances and getting the salt and pepper ready to put in them. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this, right?
I turn the salt shaker upside down to apply the salt, because the hole was on the bottom, and I couldn't apply the salt from the top, right? Right. So, I start pouring the salt in. Again, Julianna and I are talking away. At one point, I look down at the salt shaker to see the progress it's making in filling up. It's not filling up at all. As I look down farther I see my mistake, but not before I saw a HUGE pile of salt hanging out on my counter.
I look at Julianna. She looks back at me. And the laughter begins. I guess I should have closed the holes, or put my hand UNDER the holes....but I just didn't think about it I guess....
This was after we had cleaned most of it up.......
So, yes....Julianna and I are best friends. We are very different. But when it comes to common sense, we are just about the same; but I wouldn't change it for the world.....=)
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