I Ain't Settlin' For Anything LESS than EVERYTHING

I remember a few years ago, back in the EARLY days of High School, (maybe it was middle school...I'm not exactly sure), my church youth group made a trip to Camp Caswell.  Out of all the messages that were given throughout the week at the nightly worship services, there is one that stands out the most: never date someone you wouldn't marry. That night, Pastor Benji sent us back to the barracks with homework: make a list of the qualities you want in a spouse. Don't make them extremely picky to the point of it sounding like you're ordering he/she from a catalog, but concentrate on the IMPORTANT things.  He made sure to point out that the first quality should be that he/she be a Christian. Not only a Christian but to be equally yoked with you.  After all, the bible does say in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that we should be equally yoked with our partners. What does that mean? If you're a Protestant, be with another Protestant. If you're Catholic, be with another Catholic and so on and so forth.  Only then will a relationship be TRULY healthy and lasting. 


I am a Protestant, a Baptist, a SOUTHERN Baptist to be exact. And it has taken me 2 Catholics and an Atheist later to realize that that one rule that Pastor Benji spoke about really is true. After all, I should have always known that because it plainly says it in the Bible! I guess you gotta live and learn though. Especially me, the kind of person who insists on learning EVERYTHING the hard way.

So after everything that I've been going through the past few days, and a long chat with a dear friend of mine last night, who asked me what I wanted in a man, I have decided to update that list I made many years ago. There are only five things and I don't think any of them are too much to ask for.

1) To be equally yoked.
           Yes, this is number one and most important. End of story.

2) To be taken care of.
            I want a man who will take care of ME. Not the other way around. Well, I will take care of him yes, but I want to be doted on. I want the door held open, the chair pulled out, the meal paid for, the hand kissed, I want him to give me his coat when I'm cold. I want the chivalry.

3) To live for the simple things.
       Bring me a flower every once in a while. It doesn't have to be a big bouquet of roses (every time). Pick a flower you see on the side of the road. Write me a letter. Rub my hair to put me to sleep. Tell me I'm beautiful every day. Over use "I Love You". Be THERE for me. LISTEN to me. Take me for a drive, or better yet, a walk. I'm a simple girl, so when I want something, I'll expect to get it.

4) To be a hard worker.
      A lazy man will not suffice. WORK for your money. Get up and DO stuff.

5) To be a family man.
     Not only do I want a man who wants my children, but I want a man who loves his family. Who loves his parents, and would do anything for them. Someone who puts family first.

These five things are easily doable.  And I will not back down on them ever again.  These are the deal breakers. These are the things that I will look for within the first week of "seeing" someone and if any of these things are being compromised, I will not settle. Just like Sugarland says "I ain't SETTLIN' for anything LESS than EVERYTHING!". Now, I don't need a money-rich man....I need a man whose rich in LOVE. I am a good girl, and I always have been. And I have been settling for way too long now. I know I'm not ready for marriage and I probably won't be for a while. Right now, when it comes to thinking about marriage, I have learned that I want a wedding, not what comes after. Do I want to get married one day? Absolutely. When the time is right. Right now, it's time to live my life and fall in love with myself again. Fall in love with the Lord again. I plan to start singing in church soon and I'm super excited about that! It's time to get back to me, to who I was a long time ago before I became jaded. And I know that since I have such amazing friends who share the same beliefs I do, and who adore me and whom I adore right back, this should be easy.