Let's HEAR It For The BOYS!

I did say that I was going to write a blog that I was thankful for my boys =) Here it is Thanksgiving Day and I'm just now getting to it. Oh well....better late than never, right?

I have always gotten along better with guys than I have girls.  I think it's mostly because guys bring along less drama...well...sometimes.  Sometimes they bring along MORE. But in any case, guys are sometimes more fun.  I do have more than double "boys" than I do girls, so this may take a minute (haha). But here it goes!

Rick Castiglione

This man is the LOVE of my LIFE. He is my BEST friend. My partner in crime....my future.  I am thankful for him every single day.  We have had our downfalls, we have had our trying times....but we have also had our good times.  There has never been a day that went by, even in the worst of times, that we didn't tell each other "I love you." The day I met him, I knew that he would be a part of my life indefinately.  When we had to say goodbye the first time, I knew we would see each other again.  But I never knew he would be the man I would plan on spending eternity with. He makes me smile. He has shown me what REAL love is.  What UNCONDITIONAL love is. He has proved to me that not all men are the same (well, they are....but we're talking about something different here) and for that, I am eternally thankful.  I LOVE THIS MAN to the moon and back a million times!

Jake Hustead

This goofy looking fella....lol....(jk, he's a hunk) ah well....idk what to say about him. I'm thankful. The end.

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Just kidding =) Mr. Hustead is definately one of a kind. We met about three years ago through an ex of mine.  My first impression of him?  "This guy is WACKED!" haha, and I wasn't wrong. He is crazy! In the three years I have known him, we have gone from "friends of a mutual friend", to "party buddies" (well, lol kinda. I was only 19 at the time we met so I couldn't do MUCH partying) Then a week after my birthday in 2008, we became much more.  He showed me that he wasn't just a crazy guy who loved to party, but he was genuine.  He was compassionate, he was caring; he became my "big brother". He became someone I looked up to very much, someone I knew would ALWAYS be in my life for the rest of our lives.  Since I have been home the past five months, we have become even closer, and for that I am thankful.

Chase Frederick

This dude....well, he's the "ex" I mentioned in the above tribute. This picture pretty much describes him to a T. He really IS crazy! But as wacked out as he is, he is still a big part of my life and I am thankful (for whatever reason) =P I am most thankful for him because he has shown me how to "loosen up"...how to "care less" about things in life and just LIVE it! His life is basically one big party, and for some reason, I still look to him for guidance (haha). But I do have to say, the guy has always been right. Well, 90% of the time. Any time I ask for his advice about something, he has usually been right on target. Dude can read my like a book. Even though he does make me ANGRY sometimes, and sometimes I wanna knock his bald head into a wall....he makes me smile too...somehow. We have our fun times...and he really is a great person inside and out. We have been through a lot together, and there have been times where we didn't speak for months on end because of some falling out we had. But after a while, it got to a point where I didn't mind not speaking to him...it didn't really bother me, because I knew we would end up speaking again. He's my buddy and he always will be. FO-EVA! =) 

Jason Calhoun

=) This man is an angel. Seriously. We met my freshman year of high school in English Class. He sat behind me most of the semester and...well...we laughed. A LOT! He always made me sing for him and he would accompany me with guitar. I don't know where I would be without him in my life. He took me to our Junior Prom and was the BEST date EVERRRR! We have so many memories...and I hope we continue to make more. I haven't seen him in a while because he decided to up and go to EUROPE and be a missionary. Um, AWESOME? Yea! I admire him greatly; I admire his compassion, his FAITH, his kindness, his talent. I admire everything about him. We will be friends until the end of time...and that is a guarantee!

Chris Giggleman

I actually met this guy on True.com when I was 18. Yea, we dated for about 4 months or so. We broke up because I moved to Florida, but when I came back, we didn't get back together. But that's okay. We have stayed really good friends for the past four years and I am very thankful for that. He gives me great advice and is always there when I need him. I admire him tremendously! At the age of 21, (my age now) he owned his own home. At 25, he is building a new one. A HUGE lake house. He is very successful and he does nothing but strive to succeed. I am very proud to call him a friend of mine =)

Josh Cagle

Mr. Cagle and I met about six years ago. We met completely by accident! I called someone and he answered their phone. It was funny, and since that day, we have been very good friends.  This guy is awesome! He's a successful DJ, and he's full of life, and fun, and just...wow. Awesome awesome guy inside and out! He is a cowboy, and he can't stay in one place for too long (and if he can, he has yet to prove it lol) But he always has my back, and will always always be someone I can turn to nomatter what, rain or shine, near or far!

Jesse Miller
This hunky guy was my first love =) About six years ago! We've been through a lot together and he will always hold a very special place in my heart. I love him dearly! He is corney as all get out, and sometimes too smart for his own good. But that's okay because that's Jesse. He is an incredibly talented aspiring architect, and I can't wait to see what he can do one of these days! He is also someone that keeps me sane. I am thankful that God put him in my life to keep me grounded....to help me face reality. To encourage me, and to look out for me. There is only one Jesse Miller out there and I am honored to call him my friend!

Joe Dan Spearman

Welp, this rite cheer, this here is Mr. Joe Day-un Spearman. =) Him's a good ol' boy. We've knowed each other since we was dag nim lil squirts. Him's my best friend, Julianna'a cuuzzin....lol alright alright. Dan is my brother God forgot to give me. He and his brother, Blake have picked on me my entire life. It used to bother me, but now I know that they wouldn't do it if they didn't love me. (And they'll deny that too. hahaha) We don't spend too much time together, but I always know that if I need an ear, he is just a phone call or text away. I am blessed to call him my extended family!

Jake Goodchild
If you notice, our last names are very similar =) We met in High School in homeroom freshman year, and I believe we had the same homeroom every year after. He's the child, and I'm the son and well, we just kinda clicked since day one. Jake is a JOY to have in my life. Never ever a dull moment with him. He's all about FUN! I am thankful for the excitement he brings to my life. Oh, and he gives the best hugs, too! =)

Keith "Keef" Biggs
Keith and I met the same night Mr. Jake Hustead and I met. My first impression of him was that he was quiet. But I have definately learned otherwise through the years (hahaha). He is a die hard Tarheels fan, and he loves the 9ers too. He's just an all around cool dude. I am blessed to have him, his beautiful girlfriend Brittney, and their adorable son, Kamden in my life. He is like a big brother to me, and he can always make me laugh! I will call him my "brother" foreva and eva!

and last but not least,

Kenny Snyder

=) Kenny and I just met a couple months ago. He is a phenomenal guy! We knew each other a few weeks before we found out that our sisters are childhood best friends. It was amazing how we had gone our whole lives without knowing the other existed when we found that out. Kenny has two beautiful little boys, of whom I have never met, but I hope to one of these days! I admire him greatly from the short time I have known him, and I hope to know him for many years to come!



These boys, scuse me, these MEN hold a very special place in my heart. They have all brought some joy to my life and I am eternally grateful that God placed them in my life. They all have my back, and I know that if someone has hurt me and needs a good beat down (or just a stern talking to, or a prayer) these are the guys to call.

To Jake H., Chase, Jason, Chris, Dan, Jake G., Jesse, Josh, Keef and Kenny, I love you very much! Thank you for everything you are and everything you have done for me. I could never put into words what you all mean to me, but always know that I am here for you no matter what, just as you have been for me. I know, for some of you, we may not get to "hang" as often as I'd like, but I always know ya'll are all just a phone call away. Thank you all for having my back, and for being the "brothers" I never had.

And to Rick, I say thank you for being my BEST FRIEND, my partner in crime, and for NEVER leaving my side! I love you!

Lots of love! xoxoxoxo

-Lia



To Answer Your Questions....

So...I have recently gotten back together with my "ex"...Rick. Or should I say, the Love of My Life.  I know a lot of your reactions to this news (if you haven't heard already) is "HUH?!" and I have to say, yea. I understand your reaction.  I also understand why you would want to talk me out of it.  So, even though I believe that this blog is completely ridiculous....that I shouldn't HAVE to explain myself to ANYONE because I am a grown adult and am perfectly capable of making my own freaking decisions....I decided I would just lay it all out on the table and explain my decisions to those of you who find it disturbing that Rick and I are back together.  I'm frankly tired of the questions....I'm tired of the lectures.  To those of you who have been supportive, and genuinely HAPPY for me, I say a loud THANK YOU!  This blog is simply meant for YOUR entertainment. Anyway, here goes nothing:

Let's start with the night I left him, shall we?

First of all, you should know that my leaving him came out of left field for him.  He did not see it coming at all.  That was my fault for making him believe that everything was perfectly fine with us.  For making him believe that he had NO reason to think that I would ever leave him.  Literally, a day before I left, we were hanging up pictures and figuring out where things were going to go and I believe we were even planning a housewarming party for our new apartment. A long over-due housewarming party...but it was still a party.  He was happy....and I acted happy. So, you have to take that fact into consideration.

Second of all, Rick was never this out of line before.  We never fought, really.  I mean, sure we argued. We disagreed.  But RARELY did we scream at each other.  RARELY did we say things to each other we would regret later.  When we would "fight", it was over little things, it didn't happen too often, and when it did, it was over in five minutes....or a few hours.  But we never went to bed angry and we always made an effort to solve whatever it was we were upset about. 

Notice in the above paragraph I clearly said "made an effort".  I say that because had we successfully fixed the little issues, had we completely resolved them, I wouldn't be writing this blog right now because I would have never left.

About a week before I decided to leave, and you can go back and read my previous blogs through April and May and June too, you may notice that I wrote a "bucket list".  I made a list of 100 things I wanted to do before I died.  Now, you would think that when you made a list such as that, your significant other would be happy for you.  They would support you, and they would say stuff along the lines of "I hope we can do those things together one day" right?  Well, Rick's reaction was not that.  He kind of rolled his eyes at a few of those things on the list and said stuff like "Alright babe, good luck with all that" but in a sarcastic tone.  As if I would never accomplish those things. That scared me a bit, for two reasons.  One, because I thought he would be supportive and it scared me that he wasn't, and second, because it was a big wake-up call for me.  See, Rick and I had plans to marry.  And when I realized that I wanted to do all these things, and I wanted him beside me to do them, but he may  not be there/I wouldn't get to, it scared the crap out of me.  I realized that maybe being in that serious of a relationship was too much for me at that time.  There were still things I wanted to do with my life, and if he wasn't there to support me, I guess I would have to do them alone.  Yea, that was a scary thought because I loved him so much! I WANTED him there. 

Another reason I left was he was putting me second.  We were both very depressed; we didn't have a lot of money and both of our paychecks went entirely to bills.  There was NO extra, and when there was, I spent it. Shame on me, I know.  But we never used the extra money to go out with each other because he was always letting what was on TV or his Mafia Wars take the place of OUR time together.  He rarely sat with me on the couch. When we were at home together, we were strangers.  He would sit at the chair behind me (while I was on the couch) or, out on the patio, smoking his cigarette, drinking his beer, and playing on his computer.  He NEVER left his computer. EVER! So, yea, I began to feel unimportant to him.  I began to feel like I came second.  That our time together wasn't special to him.  And I was angry. 

I'm not blaming it all on him.  By any means.  I had my demons too.  I was depressed as well, and I wasn't really happy with myself either.  The point is, neither one of us was happy with ourselves, therefore it was impossible to make each other happy.

So when I finally decided to leave, it was because I wanted to go and make myself happy.  I had every intention of getting back together with him, but I wanted to make sure that I was 100% happy with myself first. I made an attempt to leave twice.

The first time, it just kinda hit me like a ton of bricks one day that leaving was the only way out.  That leaving was the only way to make him see that he needed to treat me better. That yea, I was in fact, LEAVING.  And it HURT!  You see, Rick was the first and only guy I had every LIVED with.  Sure, I had spent an ungodly amount of time at my exes homes before.  But NEVER had I ever shared bills and had a place of our own together.  I had never spent literally EVERY night with anyone before, AND I had never been together with someone for two straight on-going years.  Two straight WONDERFUL years.  So yea, this wasn't just breaking up with someone.  This was picking up my life as I knew it right then and changing everything.  I wouldn't just be going down the block, I would be leaving the state and going back to NC. I wouldn't just be breaking up with HIM, I would be leaving the job I loved SO much, the job that I had FINALLY found absolute happiness with.  Everything was changing for me. 

When I had come to the conclusion, I wanted out as fast as I could and I didn't really want to have to confront him about it.  I wanted to just leave.  I called my mother over to help me pack. She came over, but she brought my niece and the first words out of her mouth was "Where's Uncle Rick?" Well, that right there tore me to pieces.  Instead of packing, my mother just talked to me.  We talked about a lot of things, a lot of which I can't remember now.  But mostly, we talked about how I just needed to be 100% sure that this is what I wanted to do. 

When she left, she left a lot of boxes for me to pack by myself.  But I couldn't do it.  I could NOT make myself pack my stuff.  I kept stopping and staring at the wall.  If this was something I really wanted to do, it shouldn't have been that hard, right?

So, I stopped packing and just lay on the couch for the rest of the day until he got home from work.  I wasn't do anything except bawling my eyes out.  I had been for a long time that day.  He came home, and found me and tried to comfort me, but he thought I was crying over something else.  He had NO idea what was going through my head.  So when I finally just blurted it out, after beating around the bush for a while, and getting frustrated because he wasn't understanding what I was saying, I could see the devastation in his face.  THAT was devastating for me in itself and only made me more upset. 

Rick then began to throw stuff.  Nothing of value, and nothing breakable; things like paper, pillows, clothes, etc.... He was just taking out his frustrations on THINGS.  He took my keys at one point: I was notorious for just leaving and not telling him where I was going....just wanting to leave and drive around for a bit to clear my head, then come back when I felt better.  And before, it would have been fine.  But this time, the words "I'm leaving" came out of my mouth, so when he saw me with my keys, he freaked and took them from me.  After hours and hours of trying to find them, and screaming at each other, both of us upset, both of us crying, I finally talked him into just giving me my keys.  That I would be right back, I just wanted to clear my head.  He very reluctantly gave them back. 

I went for a very very short drive.  I made it about 15 minutes down the road, when I got sick.  VERY sick.  I thought maybe it was because I hadn't eaten anything after stressing all day, so I stopped at a Burger King.  I ate in the parking lot, and after I ate, I just sat there for a very long time.  I thought about a lot of things, and then I began to feel even more sick.  So I started back home.

Now, before I go any further, here is a side note.  Stress is NOT good for any one's nerves or stomach, especially mine.  I am one of those people who literally gets SICK if something crucial is happening in my life, sometimes even when it's a good thing.  Second of all, I get car sick, especially when I'm in traffic. (I think the traffic has to do with claustrophobia) So, keep in mind, it's June. It's HOT outside, even at night.  I'm on a VERY busy highway in Kissimmee, FL, about 5 minutes away from Walt Disney World.  So, on top of me being stressed out because of things happening in MY life, I now have to deal with the heat, and the TRAFFIC! So, I'm nauseated because of HEAT, TRAFFIC, MOTION SICKNESS, AND MY PERSONAL LIFE.  I felt like the trip home was HOURS long, even though it was about 10-15 minutes.

I couldn't get into that apartment fast enough.  Plus, we lived on the second story too. So there was stair-climbing involved. I got into that apartment at about 10pm; Rick was already in bed; I'm sure he had been crying and was super upset because he NEVER went to bed that early.  I went straight to the bathroom and began getting sick.  Well, actually I think I was just dry-heaving which is even worse.  Did I mention before that when I stopped at Burger King, I didn't finish my meal?  Yea, I was so upset I couldn't eat. Rick knows how my stomach is, and he knew that I was upset.  So he came in the bathroom, gave me a cold, wet cloth and took me to bed.  He put a trash can by the bed and laid with me until I fell asleep. I have to say, that meant a lot.  For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I meant something to him.

The question of whether or not we loved each other was never applicable.  We loved each other to the moon and back.  We adored each other.  That feeling has never gone away.  But somewhere along the line, we lost sight of that.  We got our priorities all mixed up, and we started to distance ourselves from one another.  Sad, but true.

The next day, we talked a lot.  I made him a list of things that I needed him to do for me.  I asked him for a list of things he needed from me, and he refused to make one because he insisted there was NOTHING I wasn't doing already.  Which, I know has to be bulls*** because I am FAR from perfect.  But, he never gave me one.  The next week was wonderful, on the surface.  For me, inside, I was already gone.  I had already made up my mind that I was leaving and there was really nothing he could do to change my mind.  But I wanted to at least make an effort to try.

At the end of the week, on Friday, we went to Hollywood Studios in Walt Disney World.  We had a good time (for the most part).  It was VERY hot outside, and we didn't have a lot of money (we went on his free passes) so we couldn't really eat all that much.  The food we did eat, well, it wasn't the best.  The place we ate at, well, it was crowded.  We were both extremely grumpy.  By 2:00, I had had enough and I had definitely made up my mind about him.  We left and I didn't speak to him all the way home.

When we got home, I had cooled off a bit.  I asked him to come to the pool with me so that maybe we could cool off and relax.  To my surprise, he agreed.  (The pool at our apartment complex was BEAUTIFUL! It was AMAZING! I had been a few times, and every time I had asked him before, he never came. So yea, I was super surprised he had agreed this time). When we got there, it was like we had never been grumpy.  I laid on my back in the pool with his hands balancing me and it was an amazing feeling.  That moment was the most relaxed I think I had ever been in the entire two years.  I felt safe.  I felt free.  I felt like he was holding me up, like he was proud of me, but in a loving way.  I felt like I could do anything and be anyone.  That is until the annoying girl came up. 

She literally stood about 2 inches from my face.  I acted like I was sleeping, which I almost had been, until she ruined it.  We slowly tried to float away from her, but she followed.  She talked about her DRAMA...which, let's face it, we didn't need ANY of at that point.  So, I had had enough of her and I swam away.  He finally got away from her and came over to me. That lasted all of five minutes and she was back again.  So, we just got our stuff and left. I have to say, it was very disappointing. 

When we got back to the apartment, he got right back on his computer and we were separated again.  That did it for me.  I was done.

The next day, I told him I was leaving again.  My plan was to go to work, go back to my mothers house the next day, and then when he was at work, come back and pack everything and leave.  But I couldn't go to work, I was so upset.  When he came home, we had the same fight as before, only this time it was worse.  He began packing my things for me and throwing them out into the hallway.  He said the worst, most hurtful things to me, which only made me cry harder. I called my mom and sister and I was so hysterical I could barely speak. So, mom called my dad and dad called me (he was about 24 hours away, in New York on vacation at the time) and when I was speaking to him, I was crying so hard I could barely talk.  Of course, this scared him, and it frustrated him because he couldn't do anything about it except try to calm me down.

I finally got most of my clothes and my necessities, but I couldn't get everything, for lack of space in my car.  I left, and went straight to my mom's house about an hour away.  All I wanted to do was sleep. I just wanted to lay my head down and sleep. Crying makes you tired by itself....when you're screaming, fighting, throwing things, hitting things, AND crying like a BABY...you know the SCREAMING cry, you're damn near EXHAUSTED.  I called my work and told them the situation.  They were understanding (thank god) and they told me not to worry about a thing, they would take care of covering me and all that. (See why I loved my job?)

The next day, I waited until he was at work, and I brought my mother and a couple friends with me to pack up the rest of my things.  It took three cars, but we managed to get everything packed, even when it began POURING down rain in the middle of it.  That was on Saturday.  On Sunday, Rick called me and just wanted to talk.  So we did.  And it was a GREAT talk.  We were on the phone for hours.  He was calm, I was calm, we were listening to each other and we were understanding.  It was agreed that we would keep in touch when I went back home, and that we had every intention of getting back together. 

The next day, I went over to say my goodbyes.  I know that was probably not the smartest thing to do because it just made us cry more.  But I couldn't just leave the love of my life on a bad note like that.  I couldn't leave my FAMILY of two years, my BEST FRIEND like that.  I wanted him to know that I did love him, and I wanted to just be happy.  That was all I wanted.  That goodbye was probably the hardest goodbye ever!

During this time, I talked to all my friends and family for advice.  The one thing I was worried about the most was regret and of "what if".  The person I NEVER listen to, but who I love DEARLY, and listened to this time, was my favorite Aunt Taffy who said something that I will never forget.  She said that no matter what I do, I will always wonder about the other option.  I can't be worried about the "what ifs".  She told me that I needed to stay because I couldn't live without him...not because he's a great person.  If I couldn't say that I couldn't live without him, then I should probably leave.  And at that point, the only thing I wanted to do was BE ALONE! I hadn't been by myself, and done my OWN thing in 5 years!  And I was only 21....

The whole ride home was bittersweet.  I cried, I laughed, I sang, I danced, I cried some more.  But I also did a lot of thinking.  I was ready to be back home with my family.  I got to hit "re start" and it felt GREAT. I had a lot of things to look forward to!  I was determined to make myself happy!  The last time I had done this, you know, moved my life 800+ miles away, I only had three goals: To work at Disney World; to experience living on my own; and to be with the love of my life.  All three had happened.  One wasn't finished....

It's been five months since I left Rick.  I have to say that these five months have been a BLAST. I have had a lot of laughs, I have met new people, and bonded with old friends.  I have gone out on dates, I have had a couple "flings".  I have been slightly heartbroken...(I mean, let's face it, I don't think I will ever be as heartbroken as I was when I left Rick....this heartbreak I speak of was just a little prick). I have learned very valuable lessons: one of which is that (and I mention this one a lotttttt) when you put someone on a pedestal and expect them to do no wrong, it's THEN that they will let you down.  It's the people you never think will hurt you who hurt you the most.  And to that person, I say "Thank you. We will always be friends NO MATTER what and I love YOU dearly!" I'm thankful that I was given the opportunity to be with other people, to date, because it made me realize how much I LOVE Rick.  That NO one compares to him. I could be with the most PERFECT people. People who, on paper, make complete sense. Who, if it HAD worked out, we would be the picture perfect couple and would live happily ever after...but they wouldn't be RICK. They wouldn't be that man who stole my heart from the beginning, and who loves me more than life itself.  That is a HORRIBLE match for me (according to paper, and astrology) but who KNOWS me inside and out, back-erds and FAR-werds, ha ha, upside down and right side up. 

A couple weeks ago, I made a trip to Orlando.  I wanted to get away from here, (NC), but I wanted to use my discount I got at work: $39 a night for a two bedroom SUITE on International Drive? HEEEEY!!! Well, Rick and I ended up hanging out the entire time.  I have to say, it was amazing.  We did nothing but talk to each other...about EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. We rekindled our relationship, and it was then that we realized we didn't want to spend another second apart. We are both happy with ourselves now.  He is back in his niche, working for the company he loves, Chili's; doing what he LOVES, and even though he's not making six-digits a year, and is struggling with bills somewhat, he is happy. It's sad to say, but I guess it's the way it is, that it took THIS...you know, me leaving, for him to realize, for US to realize what we had.

I have no doubt that Rick and I will continue to have our differences.  That's what makes us US. There are things about our relationship that we can't change, no matter how hard we try.  There are things about him that annoy me, and there are things about me that annoy him. But neither one of us are going to change. And that's okay. As long as we stay focused on fixing our issues, and just put each other FIRST. Do things TOGETHER instead of separate. Spend time with EACH other instead of by ourselves all the time, things will be better. They won't be perfect...they will NEVER be perfect. But they will be better. All I have to say, is that since I came home from my trip, yea I've had my doubts. I've had my fears that things won't get better. But at the same time, I have NOT been able to stop thinking about him.

One thing that kind of made up my mind:

The person I mentioned in a couple previous paragraphs before, you know, the person who hurt me...well, the other night, we had a long conversation about things.  We recognized that we wanted the SAME things.  We also recognized that we just can't make it work, even though if we did, it would be a good thing.  But for some reason, we just can't. He said a couple things that kinda changed my mind about him....so when I left him that night, and for most of the nights following, I have tried to picture him in my life, past the honeymoon stage. And I couldn't do it. It was fuzzy for me. The more I thought about DATING him, the less appealing it was. And I realized it was because this whole time, it was the CHASE I was in love with. The THRILL. The EXCITEMENT. The fact that this was the first time in 2 years I was able to chase someone again. But it was only skin deep.  Sad? Yep. But also, relieving.

So in closing, I have finally found some peace in my life.  I have finally found some COMMON ground in my life.  No longer do I have to go through the "unrequited" love thing (which...UGH....WORST feeling EVERRRRRR!) Why go through that when there is someone standing right in front of me who loves me with all of his heart, and it's MUTUAL?!

SO...does this answer any of your questions?  I hope so. My hands are tired, and I'm done explaining!

Over and OUT!

I Am Thankful For My Girls =)

I have some of the best friends anyone could ask for.  Whether we grew up together from diapers to wedding days, or we just met a couple years ago through a friend of a friend, all my friends are wonderful.  Some are a little troublesome, some are a little SLOW...others are selfless and will give the shirt off their back.  Either way, my friends are amazing! So I've been thinking.  This month, we give thanks.  We give thanks for the people and the blessings in our lives.  I want to give thanks to the beautiful, talented, wonderful, kind, special LADIES in my life!

This is Miss Julianna Cole.  We were born exactly a week apart.  We grew up together, litterally.  When we were babies, my mother kept her while her parents worked.  As we got older, we went back and forth to each others houses, and then when High School came along, her mother would pick us up after school and I would stay at their house for a couple hours before Dad came to get me.  When senior year came along, and my mom left for Florida, I moved in with her family for a couple months (before I got kicked out on account of we were covering for each other too much--haha) Even when we lived together, we never fought. We have gone 21 years without having ONE fight, which I think is pretty awesome! We will be friends until the end of time, there is no doubt about that. Near or far, she will always be the sister God forgot to give me and I love her more than words can say!

                                       

Miss Brittany Willis.  This girl is PHEN-OM-EN-AL!  I LOOOOOVE Brittany! We met in the car-rider line freshman year of High School and we have been best friends ever since.  She is SO talented! Give her a paint brush and let her go! We have had fun times, bad times, good times, sad times....but through it all, she has been my rock.  She looks out for me, and let's face it, I definitely need it!  We went to Daytona Beach spring break our senior year and on the plane ride over, I got very sick! She held my barf bag (haha) and from then on, I KNEW we would be best friends for life! She is one of my biggest fans, forever begging me to sing to her...sometimes it's a pain, but then again, I love it when she asks because it shows how much she appreciates my talent, as I hers.  She is one of those friends who will give you the shirt off her back.  We will be best friends forever and ever and ever!

This is Miss Samantha Genaw.  Girl is CRAAAZYYY =) But I love her a million times over!  We met freshman year of high school at tryouts for the Christmas play.  She was a little on the nerdy side, and very very quiet.  But we clicked instantly.  We have definitely had our moments, and we fight like sisters.  But at the end of the day, she's my partner in crime.  She was there with me when I had my first car accident...she has been there through all crazy relationships.  (The one girl I know would kick some booty if anyone hurt me =) ) We joke that boys better shape up and start treating us right or one day we're gonna just be lesbians...HOT lesbians. (HAH!) But no, the girl is AWESOME and I LUFF HER MUCHO!

Miss Rosalie Baumgarder.  Rosalie and I met my sophomore year of high school.  Our moms worked together.  After some unfortunate events, Rosalie had to come live with my mom and I.  I didn't like her at first, but she started to grow on me, and soon we were very close!  I was with her as she learned to drive, and I was there when she got her first speeding ticket.  (Yea, that was MY bad haha) I admire her tremendously!  She has been through a lot of tough times, but she has been strong!  She is very responsible, owning her own hair salon at only 22.  We have had some really fun times together. I got my nickname "Cooter" from her....long long story!  She has been there for me through thick and thin!  We will always be sisters at heart and I will love her to the grave!

These girls will be my bridesmaids.  Their children will be my children's playmates (when we are together).  Though we may live in different parts of the world at some point, (we've already been there), the distance won't change much at all.  I am thankful every day for these girls and will be FOREVER thankful that God put them in my life. 

To Julianna, Brittany, Samantha and Rosalie....you guys ROCK! Thank you so much for everything you are....NEVER EVER change!  Thank you for always being there for me, whether I needed a shoulder, a ride, a couple bucks, a favor.....ya'll have always seen me through! I could spend the rest of my life thanking you and it would never be enough! I LOVE YA'LL TO THE MOON AND BACK A MILLION TIMES!

 XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Don't worry....I'm thankful for my BOYS too! But that's a different post for a different day =)

Tales of Sisterhood

Looking back on my childhood, there are a lot of things I miss: the innocence; the simplicity; the fun.  Some of the memories that stand out to me most include starting my first day at Kindergarten and learning to ride a bike.  But I think my MOST favorite part of my childhood was growing up with two older sisters.

I am the youngest of three girls.  My older sisters names are Mandi, she's now 32, and Erin, who is 30.  Growing up, my family consisted of my dad, my mom, my two sisters and I.  Mandi and Erin are technically my half sisters: same mom, different dad....but in my eyes, they are my true biological sisters.  They helped raise me; they looked after me; they changed my dirty diapers.  We fought together, cried together, laughed together....everything that sisters do.  They didn't go back and forth between parents on a regular basis, so my father was virtually theirs too.  He coached their softball teams, took them hiking, fishing, dancing; everything a father should do. So my sisters were my SISTERS. 

I enjoyed being the youngest.  Now that I'm an adult though, sometimes I wish my parents had been a little more strict on me...(the only chore I had was to clean my room....they had to clean the entire house top to bottom)...because, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm not sure I know how to hold a broom correctly, even at age 21! But nevertheless, growing up in household of 4 older people to take care of me was pretty cool.  Needless to say I was spoiled rotten....and I usually always got my way.....which, has probably damaged me now.  But I always knew (know) that I was (am) LOVED!

My mom was very spontaneous.  She would pile us all in the car and we would take random roadtrips to Alexander City Alabama, Atlanta, Gatlinburg Tennessee to go to Dollywood, Daytona Beach...it was always a BLAST!  I come from a musical family, and we all sing or play some sort of instrument, or both.  So, on those road trips, we would crank up the radio to Dixie Chicks and the three of us girls would sit in the back and sing our hearts out.  Our favorite song to sing was "Wide Open Spaces".  My mom would usually harmonize with us, so it always sounded beautiful!  My sister, Erin and I would usually have some sort of fight (haha we never got along) but it was still always fun. 

I was always getting in some sort of trouble.  I swear I got my butt whooped every day!  I liked to test the limits....and I always got caught.  Well, being the youngest, I looked up to my sisters a great deal.  Since they were 10 years older than me, and beautiful, and since they KNEW EVERYTHING, I wanted to do everything exactly like them.  I remember one night, I believe I was about 6 years old, which would have made my sisters 14 and 16, I decided I wanted to shave my legs.  Just like they did.  So, I got out a razor and started going at it.  Well, I forgot to wet the thing, first of all, and I didn't use shaving cream.  And I pressed too hard and went too fast.  I cut myself from the top of my ankle to the bottom of my knee in one continuous cut!  And it was DEEP! I remember sitting on the toilet in the bathroom just staring at it, wondering how in the world it happened, what to do to fix it, and WHY did my mom and sisters insist on doing this all the time and HOW they never cut themselves like this.  If I recall, Mandi came in the bathroom and started freaking out! Of course, she called Erin in, who started freaking out as well.  Then they started to try and come up with a plan to get a bandaid without letting Mama know what I had done.  They were trying to keep me out of trouble as best they could, and it worked.  Almost.  Mandi was a HORRIBLE liar (haha) so when she had to go to the kitchen to get 10 bandaids, of course my mother wondered what the heck she needed 10 bandaids for.  Long story short, mom found out, I got a spanking, and a big scar on my leg.  I NEVER tried shaving my legs again! (Until I was old enough, that is)

Another instance when I wanted to be exactly like them was in the boy department.  They always had the cutest boyfriends.  Well, except for one of Erin's. I wasn't too crazy about him.  But one year, Mandi went to prom with Bill Bentley.  O boy, did I love Bill!  I wanted to go to prom too! But of course, I couldn't.  I remember crying and crying....and Bill picked me up and promised me he would take me to prom one day!  That made my year!  About 11 years later, when it was MY turn to go to prom, Bill and I happened to be going to the same church.  I walked right up to him one Sunday after church and reminded him of his promise! By that time, he was married and had two kids of his own, but he remembered =) He didn't get to take me because there was age limit for escorts, but it still meant a lot that he had remembered!

I remember one period of time where my mother went to work with my dad for a little while.  They worked the night shift, so they would leave late at night and not be home til the next morning.  My sisters would have to take care of me.  That was always fun!  One night, we cranked up the radio to "Rollin On A River" and danced around the living room like nobody's business!  I got to have the BEST dinners during that time as well.  We made lots of brownies (I always got to like the bowl) and always stayed up too late.

I also remember the day we got our new house.  We had been living, a family of 5, two adults, two teenagers, and one baby, in a two bedroom, single wide trailer.  THAT was crazy.  But I never knew it was crazy because we had everything we needed.  The trailer had been my dad's and his first wife's and it had been enough for them.  So when he married my mother, they moved right into that one and didn't buy a newer, bigger one until 6 years later.  But, like I said, I didn't know that two teenage girls sharing a very small bedroom, sleeping on those little foam chairs-that-turn-into-beds (whatever you call them) and that my  mom never slept with my dad because she was sleeping with me (the baby) on the hide-a-bed in the living room wasn't exactly "normal".  So when we went "shopping" for new homes, and we found one with 5 bedrooms.....we thought we had found the TAJ MAHAL!  We would have our own room, and we would get to decorate it the way we wanted!  It was going to be the BEST thing EVER!  Mandi did her bedroom in black and white; Erin did hers in Ivy; I did mine in blue and yellow sunflowers.  All those choices matched our personalities.

The day the house was going to be delivered, we were so excited!  I was in Kindergarten.  My sisters came to pick me up from school early.  It was nap time and I remember my teacher coming over to wake me up.  When I looked up, I saw both my sisters standing in the doorway, smiling and giggling like no other!  I was half asleep so when I went to greet them, Mandi picked me up and said "You ready to go see our NEW HOUSE?!?!?!" Of course, THAT woke me up!

The house was going to be put in the same place as our other house.  (Dad refused to leave the spot, since he was right next door to his mother and grandmother.  To this day, he hasn't left). When we got to our driveway, the house was coming down the road.  They decided to come down the side of our neighborhood with the steep hill, with the sharp curve at the bottom.  So when they came to that sharp curve....they got stuck.  The house started to tip over, and my family started FLIPPING OUT!  Long story short, they finally got it back in line and into our driveway and onto our spot.  But, we couldn't move in right away.  My mom wanted to build porches: a big back porch and a big front porch, both of which she designed herself.  We had our cousins helping us, and it took us a couple months to finish, and in the meantime, we stayed next door at my grandmothers house.  That was nice because we got to wake up every morning to her homemade buscuits =) But when we finally got to move in, the house was BEAUTIFUL!  We moved in on Erin's 15th birthday.  I still live in this house, 15 years later, even though my stepmother has changed a lot of the way it looks, both outside and inside.  It's still the same house I grew up in!

My childhood was pretty darn good.  I usually got what I wanted, and if I didn't get what I wanted, it wasn't the end of the world.  I rarely pitched fits when I was told "no" and I had all the love in the world.  I will always be the baby...I will always be the princess, even when I'm 60 years old.  But I love my sisters.  Growing up with two older sisters was a blessing.  It was unfortunate when they were both grown and gone by the time I started middle school...so in the most important years of my life, I grew up as an only child.  But they made my childhood special and I am forever grateful!

I love you, Mandi and Erin!  The best sisters in the world!