Reflections of the Last 9 Months

Yes, I have been feeling sentimental lately. First an entry about my family and now this. But I can't help it!

The time has finally arrived for my baby girl to show up. I have waited 9 long, yet FAST months for this. I have been a roller coaster of emotions and a blend of different women, and my wonderful fiancee, family, and friends have stuck by me through it all. For that I am grateful! I have had several sleepless nights, several nights where I've slept alone and he on the couch just to give me my space to "stretch out and move around" (When really I think he just got tired of being woken up lol) I have cried. I have laughed. I have gotten ANGRY and irritated at people for the dumbest reasons. I have gotten highly emotional. I have been FRUSTRATED to the very max and people (and places) have pushed me to my limits. I have been uncomfortable to the very max, the point where I just wanted to reach in and take her out myself!.....

....but I have also been happy! I've been excited and anxious! I have gone through some pain, both physical and emotional, yes, but it's all been worth it. In just a few short days (or maybe a week or so), I am going to get to look into the eyes of the precious miracle who has been the reason for all this. And I am going to cry. But not a sad, frustrated cry. I am going to cry out of pure joy! I am going to look at this little girl who is looking back at me hoping I have all the answers to everything (which I don't...and that's scary). I am going to find out what REAL, TRUE LOVE really is. And I cannot WAIT for that! I am going to be someone's EVERYTHING! The one she calls when she is hurt, when she's hungry, when she's mad or sad, and sometimes when she's happy! I will be the one (I hope) who she looks up to and wants to be like one day. Puts a lot of pressure on me (haha) but I can take it! This Christmas is going to be the best one of my entire life, past and future. 

The thing about having a baby at Christmas, is that baby is your present, right? You don't want anything else, not even a tree or stockings. (At least I didn't. I didn't really care, nor did I have the energy to fool with it all) And the best thing about that present is it never goes away. It never gets "old", it never gets thrown away after you get tired of it (although, haha, I'm sure sometimes I'll feel like it....), it never gets "unusable". It never gets sent back to the store or to the Goodwill. This baby is going to be my LIFE. She will be everything that matters to me and I will have her for the REST of my life. And not only am I excited about my gift because it will last forever, but I am also very happy that God was the sender =) My Christmas present this year was from GOD! And I helped make it! Which makes it that much more special. My mom and I were having a conversation a while back about how amazing it is that women have been given the honor of making life with God. It took another person (her daddy) to "provide the goods" but for the next 9 months after, I have been "baking" this baby, making sure she has what she needs. Making sure she is growing the way she needs to be. It's an amazing, fulfilling thing to know that I have made life =)

I can't tell you how many times I've cried because I wish some people could be here for her. My grandpa, my Pops, my Mammaw.... Oh how I wish they could be here to meet this little bundle of joy! I know they will be watching down on us, and I know they will be protecting her....but sometimes I just wish they could be HERE to hold her and rock her and love her they wonderful way they loved me!

There are a few songs out there that I have heard recently that have just...well, they have made me CRY MY EYES OUT! Songs that I have heard before and loved, but they never had that effect on me until now, to name a few:  "I Hope You Dance", Leeann Womack, "It Won't Be Like This For Long", Darius Rucker, "In My Daughters Eyes", Martina McBride, "I Won't Let Go", Rascal Flatts....and this one:

"You're Gonna Be", Reba McEntire

6 lbs and 9 oz, looking up at me
Like I have all the answers, I hope I have the ones you need
I've never really done this
Now I know what scared is


Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong
Other times I'll let you just find out on your own
But that's when you'll be growing 
And the whole time I'll be knowing

You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry, but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair, but if you just hang in there
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees but always loved by me, you're gonna be

I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes
Lord knows I'll be trying to give you what it takes
What it takes to know the difference between getting by and living
Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way
Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make
So make sure you're always giving way more than you're taking

You're gonna be someone's everything
You're gonna see just what you are to me


You're gonna fly with every dream you chase 
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees but always loved by me you're gonna be
Always loved by me


 Like the song says, "You're gonna be someone's everything, you're gonna see just what you are to me!" Already, I have been overwhelmed with how much I love this baby already, but I can't wait to meet her face to face and fall more and more in love with her every day I hold her in my arms! I can't wait to finally get to feel exactly how my parents felt about me...and to finally understand why my parents did what they did, and said what they said. This is going to be an adventure, and I'm SO ready for it! 


Thank you God for sending me this miracle =) 

My Wonderful Family

Lately, I have been looking around at the homes and families around me. People I've met, people I'm involved with, my friends on Facebook, etc. And it dawns on me how very little I take the time out to be thankful for MY family. So this entry I am going to take that time and brag about how loving and wonderful my family is. I am truly blessed...I just wish I had realized just how blessed I am a long time ago.

Let me give you a little background about my family. My grandpa, Clarence Goodson, was a WONDERFUL man. He didn't have a lot growing up, and he had a pretty sorry home life. But you would never know it from the way he was as a grown man. He was HILARIOUS, always smiling, and always had something up his sleeve. Like my Grandpa Grant, he loved his family too. He was a provider; not only of materialistic things but of love, kisses, hugs, and lots of laughs. I have talked about him a lot in my blog, because I adored him so. He passed away in July 2005 after losing his battle with Parkinson's disease. He had just turned 70 three days prior to his death. He lived a long and filling life, and was also an incredibly talented artist. He carved mostly; beautiful walking sticks, and various models of ducks and birds. He also cartooned and painted. I miss him every day. He always knew how to make me smile or laugh and just to make my day a little bit better.

My sweet grandpa, Pops =)

Then there is my saint of a grandmother, Cecelia. Yes, I was named after her =) Nona is definitely my hero. She is someone I aspire to be just like. My favorite thing about my Nona is how...what's the word...carefree? she is. She is carefree, yet very organized, practical and down to earth. Her favorite quote (which has become mine as well) is "Life is not about surviving the storm, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." And that is exactly what she does. Nona has had a lot of obstacles in her life. But she is a TROOPER if there ever was one. Sometimes it's hard to remember that she is still human, because she just DOES stuff without question or complaint. Whatever her family needs, she gives, no questions asked. Whatever needs to be done, she gets it done. But that's not the reason I love her so much. I love my Nona so much because of how WONDERFUL she is. How she loves her family. How she is always positive no matter what the situation. How no matter where I am, I feel her with me. How encouraging, courageous, loving, kind hearted, adventurous, caring, beautiful, giving, and fun she is. When I have a bad day, or something in my life isn't going right, I think of her favorite quote and it just makes it better. And I always remember what she says no matter how bad a situation is, "We'll fix it." A little story to go with that:

When my mother was about 34-35 weeks pregnant with me, she went to the doctor because she felt like something was wrong with me, for whatever reason. (You know how a mother's instinct is) Nona and my sisters went with her. Sure enough, the doctor told my mother that if they didn't take me immediately, I would turn out blind, deaf, mentally handicapped and dwarfed all at the same time and I might not even make it to age 2. Naturally, my mom freaked out. But Nona was cool, calm and collected. When they left, Nona reassured her everything was going to be okay. "Let's go shopping," she said, since at that appointment, they also found out I was a girl =) (My mom hadn't wanted to know, but I made it pretty obvious during the ultrasound)  The next week, they delivered me. The doctor thought I was only 2 weeks early and that I would be fine (since I was already 7 lbs). But it turns out, I was 5 weeks early. I ended up being born without a thyroid gland, but the doctor actually saved my life. If I had stayed in the womb much longer, I definitely wouldn't have made it, and neither would my mother. When they told my mother the news, about my condition, my mom freaked out again. But again, Nona said the magic words "We'll fix it." Well, it hasn't been fixed: I'm still without a thyroid gland. But I am now 22 years old, perfectly normal, and all I have to do to survive is take one little pill every day for the rest of my life. And that's pretty good =) So you see, Nona just has this way of putting things in prospective. Things are only tragic if you make them out to be tragic. There is always a bright side.

<3 I love Nona

Nona and Pops had 3 children: My dad, Scott, Greg, and Stephanie (Taffy). My mom already had my sisters from a previous marriage, so when my mom and dad got together, they had me. Dad got remarried a few years ago to my stepmom Sharon, and she had 3 kids, twins, Yvonne and Yvette and a son, Brendan. My Uncle Greg married my Aunt Tonya and they had two boys, Chandler and Avery. Aunt Taffy married my Uncle Blaine and they also had 2 boys, Aidan and Ian. Taffy recently re-married my Uncle Steven and he has a daughter named Rachel.

Me and Daddy =)

Always a Daddy's girl

Uncle Greg, Aunt Tonya, Chandler and Avery

Aunt Taffy, Uncle Steven, Rachel, Aidan and Ian

I am definitely a Daddy's girl. My father is one of the most patient, kind men you will ever meet. He makes sure I have what I need and want, but that doesn't mean that he gives me WHATEVER I want, when I want it. He just makes sure I'm taken care of. And I love that. If I mess up, he doesn't hold it against me for the rest of my life. He makes sure I know he is disappointed, but he always makes sure I know he loves me unconditionally. I have been disappointed in him as well, but at the end of the day, it's all just "stuff". It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I have a daddy that adores me, and always will.

My mom is also an amazing person. She doesn't have a whole lot, but what I love about my mother, is she puts her children first. She is one of the most giving women I've ever met. As long as her children, blood, step, in law, grand, are taken care of, she is happy. She doesn't really care about anything else. She is a hard worker, and she WORKS for what she has. Calling her lazy is a no-no. I am blessed beyond blessed to have a mother who loves me so unconditionally.

My mom and her girls =) 

Me, Mandi, Erin, and granddaughter Brooke

I have put both my parents through some sleepless nights, and I was punished pretty much my whole life for SOMETHING haha. But God gave me two wonderful parents that made sure I had a good life. I didn't get everything I wanted. I respected my parents. If I didn't respect them, I was punished for it. If I was good, I got rewarded. If I was bad, I got reprimanded. NO meant NO. End of story. That's just how it was. And I'll add in here that these days, when I see how kids treat and talk to their parents, oh my gosh it makes me SICK. I always think "Um, why aren't they being punished? Isn't that what is supposed to be happening right now?" and then I remember "Oh yea, times are different now. Spanking is considered ABUSE.....and you are considered an awful parent if you reprimand your poor child in public. You might even be on the 5:00 news for it..." Tis a shame.

Not only did God bless me with wonderful parents, but he also gave me 2 older sisters who I love very much. My oldest sister, Mandi, and I actually NEVER fought as I was growing up. But my other sister, Erin, well, we fought every day of my life lol. For some reason, we just never got along. Luckily, that went away as we got older. Now, we have all three had our ups and downs, but again, at the end of the day, my sisters love me unconditionally and I love them the same.

Mandi got married and had her daughter, Brooke.

Erin married her husband Justin. They don't have kids yet, but maybe one day. =)

I am not "legally" married yet (a few more months) but my fiance, Rick and I have a baby on the way, Alexis Sophia.

Our Sweet Lexi =)

I have been blessed with an amazing family. We get together on the holidays (most of the time). We love each other, and we all know it. One thing I absolutely love about my family is there is a zero-tolerance for cursing. You will probably NEVER hear anyone in my family drop the "f" bomb; well, around each other anyway. I'm sure we've all said it lol. I know I have. Call me weird, but that is one quality you just don't find these days. And I like that we still have what's called "COURTESY". We are all intelligent human beings and we have all been very blessed. We are all fortunate people. We all have roofs over our heads and food to eat. Clothing on our backs and a wonderful family. I wouldn't trade it for anything.