The day I got back, one of my friends posted a link to a blog on Facebook called "Cheetos for Breakfast". I opened the link and read the blog and it was like she was speaking right to me. She quoted the bible verse, Micah 6:8:
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and love mercily, and to walk humbly with your God."The blog continues saying that in this society today, there is no longer a million ways to raise a child. There is ONE way, and if you don't raise your child THAT WAY then it is assumed that he/she will be completely ruined for all eternity. I believe the blogger called it the "Stepford" way. And it's so true.
I love Pinterest, I really do. It can be a really good tool and I have gotten some great ideas from it. However it can be very evil too. It has the ability to make women think that they are not dong a good job because they aren't hand-making their childs things. They aren't making their child's birthday cupcakes from scratch, with no artificial flavorings or preservatives, to bring to class. Ok, the whole "GOING GREEN" thing, yea. Ok I get it. I do. And I think it's a good thing. But I think it is taken way out of control when people (mainly women) who are GREEN judge others who did NOT make that choice.
That's what it all comes down to. Judging. And it starts from the very beginning, and you can't win either way, EVER:
"Are you giving birth naturally or are you getting drugs or are you getting a c-section?"
If you have chosen naturally, MORE POWER TO YOU! But there will be those women who say "Geez, WHY??" If you choose to get drugs, there will be those women who say "But you'll totally miss out on the beauty of birth!" (ha. yea. ok, the reward is your BABY! Not the process!) Anyway, and then if you choose c-section, there are all sorts of arguments there too about it being "dangerous" and that it isn't "God's will". Well, giving birth is dangerous in itself so that's not really a good argument either, and about it being "God's will"...that's just a whole different argument in itself.
"Are you breastfeeding or bottlefeeding."
Ok, if you're breastfeeding, you usually don't get negative feedback until you start "breastfeeding too long". And that's when people start judging you. Then if you decide to bottle feed people will judge you for not breastfeeding at all. They'll tell you all the pros and cons, and say that "breastfeeding is the best for your baby and if you can't do it in the beginning, just keep trying because eventually you and your baby will catch on and it will be a wonderful bonding experience." Yea, well ya know. Maybe mommy has some discomforts about doing it, or maybe baby just doesn't like it, or ya know, maybe it's none of your business!
"Is the baby sleeping? Does he/she have a schedule yet? Is he/she sleeping in his/her crib?"
I hate this question. Probably my very least favorite, because I still get it to this day. This is all I'll say: every mother and child and family has a different living situation (which really does affect a baby's sleep, believe it or not) Every baby has different personalities. Some babies are night owls (like mine). Some babies are early risers. Some babies just sleep all the time. Some babies don't sleep at all.
I could go on about questions people ask but I won't. Bottom line is, every baby and parent is different. We are NOT the same. We all have our own opinions, we all have our own views. We have all been raised differently in the past, and our parents all did different things, so why do we feel it necessary to mold to the same pattern as every other mother? There is nothing wrong with giving advice when you're asked. There is nothing wrong with giving ideas WHEN ASKED. And, in some cases, there is nothing wrong with giving a friendly warning from experience. But somehow, someway we have all got to get it out of our heads that there is only ONE correct way to raise a child and that that way is the way WE did it. As long as your heart is pure, as long as you are doing the very best with what you have, as long as you are giving your baby all the love in the world, and your baby feels loved, secure, and is healthy, you are doing your job! I will admit I am guilty of asking the above questions and silently judging when the answer isn't what I did with my daughter. We probably all are, even if just a little. But the bottom line is, and like "Cheetos for Breakfast" stated, WE. ARE. NOT. GOD! We don't get to decide how babies are raised unless we are doing the raising ourselves. We don't get to tell another mother that what she is doing is wrong (unless of course the child is being abused...then, that becomes a very gray area...different argument). God will give us the tools we need to raise our child. He will give us the wisdom and the strength we need. We were never expected to be "perfect". It's up to us to listen to Him and only Him, and he will guide us as parents in the right direction. No one else's opinion is needed.
