Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to sing. From the moment I could talk, I was humming and I would start from the moment I woke up and sing all day until I went to bed. There would be many times growing up that my mother had to come in my room in the middle of the night and tell me to stop singing and go to sleep! Music has always been my outlet; whether I was in a good mood and needed to celebrate, angry and needed to vent, or sad and needed to heal, music has always helped me establish what it is I'm feeling at that moment and time. And being able to sing has made it that much better.
I didn't start performing until I was 7. One of my classmates asked me if I would sing with her in our first grade talent show. We were going to sing "As I Lay Me Down" by Sophie B Hawkins and I was so excited! I had to get a pretty dress of course, but back then money was a little tight. So we went to a garage sale the elementary school was having at the time and bought a metallic blue dress...it was itchy as all get out! And I didn't like it THAT much...but it was still the fanciest dress I had ever owned! Performance night came and I couldn't wait to get on stage for my debut! Well, my partner ended up hogging the microphone the entire time...which pushed my mothers buttons! But, ever since that night I fell in love with performing! I made it a point to be in EVERY talent show all through elementary school. That was my goal! Second grade came and I didn't get to perform in that one because I couldn't figure out my song in time, but when Third grade rolled around, I was READY! This time, I would do it by myself. Now, that was when the backstreet boys were on the rise, and everyone was in love with them. I had just gotten my hair cut pretty short...one of those bowl cuts like Nick Carter. So I thought I could perform "As Long As You Love Me" and be pretty darn good at it. After all, I would look just like them, right? So, we went to Limited Too and bought some "leather" pants, a "leather" jacket, and a white tshirt with a big pink and yellow heart in the middle. But it wouldn't be complete without a HAT!
So, I went on stage and performed! And THAT was when I officially fell in love with performing. From then on, I sang the "specials" for church A LOT! And I sang in EVERY talent show given. Even during summer camp at Quality Time I would come up with all kinds of excuses to throw talent shows...and all the kids loved it! We would get together and do Spice Girls performances, the boys would be the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC...we all thought we were the STUFF! In fifth grade, I had to impress my long-time crush, Blake. I had liked this boy since Kindergarten and I HAD to let him know that yes, I could sing! Maybe he would be nice to me if he knew! So, I practiced and practiced and practiced and finally decided on "Bring It All Back" by S Club 7. My grandmother made me a bright red blazer with bright red sequins. She sewed on sequins to the collar of a black shirt to wear under it...and boy, did I look CLASSY! I also looked like a ring leader in a circus, but I was cute, haha! I gave it everything I had! And I got a standing ovation that night! It was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt! The next day for our performance for the school, I was SO nervous! But I got up there, and did even better than the night before. Blake even made a point to walk behind me in line to lunch that day and told me that I had a great voice! I was on cloud nine! I was meant to be on stage!
Then, it was time to go to Middle School. I did join the band, and I played the flute. I learned how to read music, which was VERY crucial to my interest in music. Unfortunately, the only performing I got to do in sixth grade was concert chorus and concert band. But when we DID have a talent show in 7th grade, I performed acapella for the first time and sang "Reflections" by Christina Aguilera. I also got a standing ovation that year as well. Again, amazing feeling. I didn't get to perform at school for a while after that, but I did get to perform at a church camp talent show at Camp Caswell the summer before high school. I sang "Every Season" by Nicole Nordeman. Guess what? Another standing ovation.
For the next couple years, I sang a lot of solo performances in church. After each one, my church family would wanna know when I was singing again. So I would do it as soon as possible. Sophomore year rolled around and I decided to join chorus. I had a blast! It was then that I really learned how to SING. I learned a lot of new techniques and I learned how to sing to sheet music. It was very helpful! I also got to sing the national anthem for the girls soccer game. I had never done that before, but it was FUN! I also had a few solos during our concerts as well. Then, that spring, a freshman guy named Chris Fink who was also in my chorus class decided to start "Falcon Idol". It was to follow the same rules and guidelines as the hit show "American Idol" with slightly different and appropriate changes. We would do a school wide tryout and they would pick the top 10 performers. We would perform every Friday night for the next month and every night would have a different theme. The audience would have ballots and would vote for their favorite contestant. They encouraged us to bring as many people as we knew to watch us because most likely those people would vote for us. Each night we would eliminate 2 people until the last night when there would be a 3rd runner up, 2nd runner up and winner! Winner would get 200 dollars, 2nd runner up would get 100 dollars and runner up would receive some sort of prize. Of course, I was game.
I was excited, but nervous as well. They had called a talent scout to be one of the judges. He had been JoJo's talent scout and had managed her as well. This was all very exciting news! So I tried out. I sang "Part Of Your World" and made it. So, my first performance was Strawberry Wine, and I nailed it! Dad would tape every performance so that I could watch it when we got home and hear myself, and also learn from any mistakes I did to correct them the next time. After my second performance, the talent scout decided he wanted to work with the finalists on stage presence. He showed us how to hold the microphone properly while clapping to the beat. He showed us how to charm the crowd and get their attention, how to sing TO them instead of FOR them. I learned so much during that lesson and I put it all into play on performance night when I performed my mothers favorite song "Drift Away" by Dobie Gray. I was working that stage! I was sitting on the edge of the stage, singing to the judges, going out into the audience, getting them to clap their hands. I did a GREAT job! That year I won 3rd place. I was very disappointed but I also knew I had 2 more years ahead of me.
So, the following year, I rocked it again. I sang songs like "You Light Up My Life", "Me and Emily", "Break Down Here" and "Any Man of Mine". I ended up winning 2nd place that year and was SUPER proud of myself. Senior year rolled around and I was excited, but I wasn't as focused. I ended up not placing at all that year, but it was okay. I had other things to worry about, like graduating!
I had always dreamed about singing for graduation. I had practiced and practiced to sing "Whenever You Remember" by Carrie Underwood for our graduation and was so excited to try out! Well, someone sabotaged that for me and purposely told me the wrong time for tryouts. THEY got to perform along with a couple other people and I did not. I was very sore about that for a long time. But, to make up for it, she asked me to sing for our Baccaleaurete ceremony. I accepted but it took me a very long time to forgive her. I sang "Anyway" by Martina McBride. That song really hit home to me especially with the line "You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in, that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang. Sing it anyway. Yeah, sing it anyway!" There wasn't a dry eye in that church, and with that, I knew I had done my job.
After high school, I didn't do much performing. I kept singing for fun with my family during get togethers when my uncles would bring their guitars and mountain dulcimers and we would sing together. I sang by requests at my dads wedding, my grandpas funeral and my best friends fathers funeral (unfortunately). But I stopped going to church for various reasons, and just stopped performing. Then, I moved to Orlando. I started working at Disneyworld and I got to sing at the American Idol Experience in Hollywood Studios. I was one of the top three finalists! That was super exciting and I plan to do it again soon! And I love going out to Karaoke bars, even though I can't hear myself very well. But I learned from my 21st birthday, I can even sing well when I'm plastered drunk!
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Over the years, I have realized that singing really is the only thing that would make me happy. I still have that life long dream of becoming a country singer, although I am grounded and I do have a backup plan of becoming a graphic designer and possibly going into advertising or working for a magazine, but I want to go out for American Idol when they come around again. I missed the last couple times they came in the area, and this time I am bound and determined to go. I will get there one day, some way or another and I will not stop until I do!
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