It's Okay To Cry

The past month has been one hell of an emotional roller-coaster for me.  I have gone from sad, to happy, to excited, to confused, to sad, to unsure, to depressed, to happy, to scared....repeat.  The cycle is still going.  I mean, I leave my boyfriend of two years, after living with him for one, four of those months in a place we rented on our own.  I was "virtually" married (as a friend of mine put it).  So, leaving was not just a breakup. Leaving was almost like getting a divorce, and it had all the financial and emotional consequences of it...but not the legal. Thank God.  I left my job, I left my home of 2 years to come to my real home, but to nothing.  No job, no permanent place to live. I didn't just break up with someone, I picked up my whole life as I knew it right then and I changed it all. It was a BIG move.  In a way, I'm glad I went through it this early in life because it's going to make me a stronger person in the future. 

So how have I dealt with it?  Well, I've cried.  An ex of mine once told me a few years back that I was too emotional, that I cried too much.  So for awhile, I stopped crying. I tried to hold it all in and just act like whatever it was that was bothering me, really wasn't bothering me.  Or, I would express it in different ways.  I would fall into a depression, or I would get angry and take it out on other people. Then, I learned that maybe crying wasn't such a bad thing.  If that is the way I deal with whatever "it" is, then so be it. I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm hurt, I cry most often when I'm frustrated...when I'm tired, sometimes I laugh so hard I cry, I cry when I'm excited....crying is just how I express myself.  Some people think crying is a form of weakness...I disagree.  It's not a form of weakness if you don't feel weak at the moment. If you feel weak at the moment, then cry. It's human!

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone sees me crying and says "stop crying, be strong." Shove it. I am in a weak place right now and I feel like crying, so crying is what I'm going to do. Unless you want me to lash out at you or just hold it all inside for awhile until I burst, you best let me just cry it out! And if you don't wanna hear it when I do, then leave me alone, and don't ever tell me again that you will be there for me nomatter what, because obviously, that's not the case.

Then, there are those men who say "I'm a man. I don't cry." Whatever.  I personally don't believe you really are a man UNLESS you cry.  I'm not saying cry every time you feel emotion, but don't be afraid to do it if you feel like it, especially in front of the woman you love.  For me, and I think I can speak for a lot of women, to see a man cry, is both humbling and heartbreaking.  Humbling because, to see a man cry, you see his softer side, and seeing a mans softer side every once in a while is a relief, at least for me it is.  Again, I don't want a cry baby, but every once in a while, it's nice to see the man I love just break down.  Just let it all go. Let me comfort you for awhile. Let ME be YOUR rock for a while.  I don't believe in "being strong" all the time.  Seeing a man cry is also heartbreaking because yes, men ARE supposed to be made of steel. That's their image.  So when I do see a man cry...it's heartbreaking.  Because I know, in reality, that man must REALLY be feeling some deep emotion if he's crying in front of me right now, and I really need to be there for him.

Remember when you were little and you got a "boo-boo" and you cried over it, and your mommy or daddy said "It's ok to cry, honey"...well, it's still ok. At the end of the day, we are all children...God's children...and He gave us tears for a reason. He gave us emotions...and it shouldn't be a "sin" to show them when we need to.

"And that's all I have to say about that"- Forrest Gump =)